It's okay to not always be right.

So I've been working on accompanying my little brother for his Suzuki Book 2 violin recital that's coming up. (If you're an ancient blog reader of mine, you might remember his Book 1 recital...this one's not near as extravagant. =P )

And between speech, debate, geometry, piano, flute, awana, teaching, and general life-busyness, I ::cough:: haven't had a generous amount of time to practice the accompaniment part.

Having played piano for 12 years helps, but I'm still a little shaky, and the thing is tomorrow.

But if you've ever accompanied someone, you know it's not about hitting all the right notes, but it's about making the performer look good. If you miss a trill or the middle note of that chord, it's okay.

(being a classical pianist, it's hard to wrap your mind around....trust me, there's a difference.)

What you don't want to do is get off sync with your performer - staying with them is really important. If I'm always trying to get the right notes, I'm putting the focus on myself.

But as an accompanist, my job is not to draw attention to myself but to magnify the performer and make them look good.

The question is not "did I get all the notes right?" but "did I fulfill my job as accompanist?"

And I was thinking how that's true of life as well.

See, it doesn't really matter if we do everything right all the time, if we hit everything spot on and play every single note. What matters is that we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus constantly -that we are fulfilling the purpose He's given us and giving the glory to Him.

If we don't always get everything done that we wanted, or the day didn't go quite right, or we didn't react in the best way possible - it's okay. What matters is that I stay in sync with God.

When I try to look good, dress right, and worry so much about how everything is going wrong - I'm worrying about myself - and not giving glory to God.

It's not about me playing the right notes - it's about being a good accompanist.

This just kinda made my day.

It's one of those days where what you really need is just a good laugh.



(thanks to Keilah for posting it on fb :)

The title is relevant to the post, I promise.

Okay, maybe not.

So, I'm sitting here, trying to think up of a witty way to start this post so that you'll read it.

Huh?

Oh come on, everyone knows that you'll only read blog posts with interesting titles and/or first 2.3 sentences.

Unless you're one of those madly devoted followers who clings to every word a person says like it was sent from heaven above.

But I don't think I have any followers like that.

(on that note, do we cling to God's words like they were sent from heaven above? cause you know, they kinda are.)

Anyhow. I've got this weird writing style stuck in my head because, guess what? I just read a blog with a similar writing style, and it got stuck in my head.

Yeah, I'm one of those people who feeds off of others creativity. Get over it, you know I have your attention now. (come on, you gotta admit it was pretty witty. I couldn't do it more than once though, darn this creativity thing.) (hence why the post is witty, and the title is dumb)

;)

But now that I've wasted a perfectly good 45 seconds of your life, I'll tell you why I'm blogging at 11pm at night.

I want to share with you Jon Acuff's blog. He's got two, actually.

I came across this post this evening, and wow...let me tell you that man can write some powerful stuff. (Go read it. Now. You can read the rest of this later. )

(aw, aren't you devoted! you're still reading!)

I've never heard of him before, aside from a hazy memory of picking up his book in the bookshop of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (wilst in Boston) and being mildly amused.

I haven't scoured his website or been a long time reader, but in only reading a few posts on his blog, it's evident that he loves the Lord.

The cool part is? He's human, just like you and me.

I feel like it's so rare to find blog authors who are bluntly honest. People put up so many masks in hopes that it will attract attention. (of course, they'd never say that, because you know...that'd be....honest.)

But lately, I just need to know that I'm not the only one. And even if he's famous, he's a sinner saved by grace...just like me.

Rest assured, this is not the last you'll hear of this blog on my blog. It's like hearing a good sermon, one that God wrote for you....so refreshing.

The thing is, I really really want you to go read his blog. No, I'm not advertising, the stuff on there is amazing.


Jesus Christ is the formula killer. He won’t behave according to our formulas. He won’t fit into our incredibly tiny expectations. He refuses to be controlled by our logic. {Jon Acuff}

Check it out, then tell me what you think.

Actually, no. If you checked out the blog, and you liked it, comment. Hopefully that won't scare you away from checking out the blog for fear of being guilted into commenting....rather it will enticingly woo you to type into the comment box....okay I'll stop now.

Scenes from a Summer

This was almost like a preschool reunion or something.
I have known this amazing girl since I we were 3 years old!

My lovely new friend Emily and I at the Rebelution Conference in Portland
[post on that coming soon....ideally]

Some of the sweetest girls I know.

Me 'an my Narnia Nerd buddy at the Narnia Exhibit in Portland.

One of CS Lewis' wardrobes. :D

Cousinsauce

This is my awesome friend Heather. We've known each other since we were 4.

Last weekend we adventured out to Fort Casey and Deception Pass on Whidbey Island with some friends.

I love them.

Middle of August, wearing jeans, hiking trails. It's what we do.

We are true Washingtonians. We wade in the pacific.

Kite flying at Fort Casey

We are pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

I feel as if this picture accurately describes our relationship.

Explaining to visiting East-Coast friends what real pine trees look like. ;)

Ever seen the movie "The Wilderness Family?"

Cheesy/fake/cropped/free Space Needle souvenier :D

Definitely going on my list for best summers of the year. Oh wait, that doesn't sound right, there's only one summer per year. Oh well. ::happy sigh::

What's that Smell?

Last Sunday in church, the pastor preached on 2 Corinthians 2.

He actually spent most of the time on the earlier portion of the passage and not the end. But what stuck out to me as he read through the passage was verses 15-17.

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.

Now if you're anything like me you probably didn't really read that, so I'll keep writing and hopefully you'll stick with me.

Ever walk towards your kitchen and smell something absolutely scrumptious your mom is cooking? And you're just at that point where you are really hungry but not so hungry you'd eat anything....but really hungry?

And you follow the smell...not because you want the smell, (I mean, who wants to take big gulpfuls of smell when you're starving?) (Not quite sure how you gulp smell, but anyhow), but you follow it because you want what is making the smell. Right?

Woooah!

Did you catch that there?

For we are the aroma of Christ...

You know the whole "it's not about me it's all about Jesus" sort of thing. Kinda gets a little old.

But see - we're not here to make people want us. We're here to make people want Christ.

The goal is for people to "smell" us and want to know where it's coming from.

So often I want people to notice me, to think I'm a decent person who's doing great things. But my life shouldn't point to me - my life should point to Christ.

The thing is...wouldn't it be awful if...say, you smelled chocolate chip cookies and it turned out to be brussel sprouts?

We often put on the aroma of "Christian" or "good person"....instead of the aroma of Christ.

Does what I say, the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I act...does it smell of Christ - or myself?

And here's where it starts to get cool!

For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.

I don't know exactly what the word "peddlers" means in this context, but here's what I think it means.

If you've ever been to a big city (New York for instance) there's like....ten jillion traveling street vendors with their little market-carts, foreign languages, and cheesy signs.

Do they really care about providing good stuff for you? Usually not. They're most likely just out there to make a few extra pennies.

They're called peddlers - and they don't usually mean what they say.

See Paul is saying that we're not just peddlers - we don't want to just try to sell God's word.

So often I feel like my goal as a witness to Jesus Christ is to sell others on the point of Christianity like a door-to-door salesmen. I think "I've just gotta convince 'em I'm right!"

But God is not a product we sell. He's a truth we live.

Peddlers are generally not too sincere except about making money.

We are not just "peddlers" of God's word, but communicators with sincerity. Why?

Because we are commissioned by GOD Himself.

We are sent out to be a light in a dark world - to speak with sincerity and truth, an aroma that points to Christ.

Now try reading it again - then tell me what you think.

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.

Summer in Seattle

Swimming in the pool even though it's not hot...

...eating popsicles wearing shorts in 60 degree weather.

Basking in the sunshine because you know it'll only be there for a day...

...grad parties...so...many...grad parties...

coffee ice cream. ♥

sleeping with the window open...

...spending the morning writing mail to my friends at camp...

long car rides...long airplane rides...

...spontaneous late-night movies with brothers

wearing tshirts and jeans without being cold...

jumping on picnic tables

playing piano 2 hours a day...

college orientation

teaching music to 5 year olds.

...sleepovers.

VBS all day....

taking crazy pictures with your best friend

...laughing till it hurts

then doing it again.

...staying up all night

sour patch kids. eating them. like a lot.

hugs.

sunshine.

*happy sigh*

Today I spent 4 hours chasing, teaching, shushing, running, and shouting with 35 kids at VBS.

It was exhausting. And so, so, so much fun.

Then I came home and taught/practiced music for 4 hours.

My brain is a little fried, and I'm what I call "drunk on too much music and lots of kids...with a little chocolate" (happy kind of woozy I'm-going-crazy-feeling) (have you ever seen me when I can't stop laughing for no reason at all? Yeah, that kind of thing. It's jolly fun. )

But I feel wonderfully full and surprisingly not dead tired.

There's something invigorating about always giving. It's like...when your goal is to just love on those kids as much as possible and help them to understand the glorious beauty of what you have to teach them...it's like God just keeps giving you more energy.

It's cool.

Optical Illusion.

{Part 2 of 2 posts that are somewhat related....heh. This is the [more refined] impromptu speech I gave at Nationals. This version might be slightly longer than what I gave....but hey.}

Wait! No! realized I've never posted about Nationals! (this is not the speech, btw)

Real quick, here's a run down.

It didn't quite feel like Nationals because I didn't have anything to work on. No speech to worry about, no debate case to go over, nothing to memorize or freak out about.

...except impromptu.

But the thing about impromptu, as I mentioned last time, is that it's not something you can think about, it's something God gives you - it's something you just do. And going into the tournament I so desperately wanted God to do something with my speeches - with me. My first two rounds were kinda bad....I mean, they'd have done fine at a qualifier level - but they definitely weren't national quality, and it was really discouraging.

My last round however, was the best. The funny thing was that I got to the end of my prep time and the only thing I had written on my paper was "we walk by faith, not by sight." (ironic, isn't it?)

I had nothing in my head. I literally thought, "Oh crud. I'm a nationally qualified speaker, there is actually an audience in here, and I have nothing. I'm going to get up and embarrass myself in front of everyone."

But as I got up there, God gave me the passion, the words, and the examples. Just right there - right as I needed them.

Isn't He amazing?

So here you are.

As you probably noticed, I have glasses - as some of you do as well. And to get your prescription for your glasses, you go to the eye doctor. Now if you've ever been to the eye doctor, you probably know those funny pictures they give you - little optical illusions that don't make any sense - and then ask you absurd questions like "how big is the ladybug NOW?" and supposedly make a lot of sense out of it.

Usually, it doesn't make much sense - to us - but optical illusions really don't. That's why they're called illusions - to give us a feeling or a sensation of something that isn't really quite the truth. And what I'd like to talk about today is just that - optical illusions - how things aren't always as they seem. First I'd like to look at this in a historical example, next in my own life, and lastly how I see God working in optical illusions.

Helen Keller - we all know who she is - the girl who was blind and deaf. The entire world must have seemed like an optical illusion to her. Can you imagine growing up not being able to see or hear the world around you? Yet she went on to lead an extremely normal life. She may not have been able to see or hear, but that didn't mean that the whole world was as she saw it. She learned to overcome the challenges she met.

But how about my life? In summer of 2009, my family left my church - a church I had grown up in and learned from for years. I was just becoming involved in a lot of ministries and finding a place I felt able to serve God in. I was growing, learning, and getting to know God - and I couldn't understand why in the world God would take me away from something that brought me closer to Him.

To this day, leaving that church still seems like an illusion to me, and I still don't fully understand why God did it.

But that is the beauty of an optical illusion, and how God works in our lives.

Let me take you back to the example in the beginning - about the eye doctor. See, I can't make any sense of what's going on with the crazy illusions the eye doctor puts in front of my face - but the eye doctor knows exactly what's going on, and he's got a reason for everything that he sticks in front of my face.

And my God, my beautiful, wonderful Savior - He is the great eye doctor, and He knows exactly why He places various things in our lives. We may not understand or be able to make sense of the things in life, but we can rest assured, knowing that our God has a greater plan in mind.

I have a little bookmark at home, with a picture of a giant, furry dog on the front - with so much fur, in fact, that it covered his eyes completely. And the caption on the front said "We walk by faith, not by sight."

It's an amusing picture, but it's so true. Sometimes we are angry at the way we are made or the circumstances in our lives because we feel it hinders us or is keeping us from something more - as I'm sure Helen Keller felt, and I know I felt when I left church.

But in Paul's letter to the Corinthians he encourages us that "our light affliction is but for a moment - and is nothing compared to the exceeding glory we will experience when we spend eternity with Christ."

We walk by faith - and not by sight. See, Paul goes on to say that the things which are seen - are temporary. But the things that are not seen, are eternal. For what is hope, if you already see it? For you do not hope in what you see - but what you do not see.

My challenge to you today is to remember, that we walk by faith, and not by sight. So often I think, "yeah, we walk by faith, that's easy." But in the face of an illusion that I simply do not understand - it's not as easy as it sounds. But I can peacefully rest in the knowledge that I worship a God who does not fail - and who holds me in the palm of His hand.

Next time you see an optical illusion, don't let it remind you of the confusion, but of the Creator - who has a plan - because He who has begun a good work in you - will complete it. Thank you.

Controlling God.

{Part 1-ish of 2 posts that are somewhat related.}

When I first went to school - like, real school...as in Very Much Not Homeschool - one of the things all my teachers always wrote on their little end-of-quarter-evaluations was something along the lines of, "Hannah is very inquisitive, and likes to ask questions. She needs to be careful that her questions aren't disrespectful."

Yeah, I liked to know the "why" of a lot of things. But teachers in school aren't your mother, and you can't ask them "why" like you can at home. ;P

Nevertheless, I learned how to think deeply - and how to question what was important.

I like to have things explained to me, and I like to explain things to people.

But here's my reading from the other day. (Oswald Chambers) (yeah, I love this guy.)

There is nothing miraculous or mysterious about the things we can explain. We control what we are able to explain, consequently it is only natural to seek an explanation for everything.

I'm a firstborn, and I like to be in control. I like to know I've got a grip on the situation at hand. (But then again, who doesn't? Whether it's a dominating control or otherwise, we like to feel we have a grip on what's going on. Lack of control gives us a lack of self-worth. Or so we think.)

But think about it it - when we can explain it, the mystery goes away. It's not confusing, and now we have a firm hold of it. We now have this little tidbit of information that we somehow think we can use to our advantage to make us feel as if we have more control than someone else.

And what about God?

See, that's the beauty of it.

God....cannot be explained. He cannot be understood. The very nature and vastness of God Himself cannot be contained within my infinite understanding. It's like trying to fit the ocean in a cup. You just can't do it.

I think sometimes, I'm so afraid of not knowing what's going on and being able to explain everything that I just give up all together.

I mean, I can't fully understand everything, so why bother? It's easy for me to fall into the trap of, "I'm not going to embarrass myself by showing how little I know, so why even try learning more?"

But as Michael Apted said (oh shame that I'm quoting him, he ruined the Narnia franchise, why should he be a decent person at ALL?!) (that was sarcastic by the way) (now that I've ruined the quote fluidity of the quote I guess I'll have to start over)

The only way to stay young is to keep learning.

And how true is that, really? Life is boring when you're not learning anything - it's dull, purposeless, fruitless. This life is so exciting, nothing should stop me from seeking to know more about my God and Savior.

Just soak in the beauty of Proverbs 4

Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.

LIVE. You know that word, "live" - (not the long i, the short i) To live is so much more than to just be alive. You're not really alive unless you're learning and growing, thinking, and searching.

Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you. Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Exalt her, and she will promote you; She will bring you honor, when you embrace her. She will place on your head an ornament of grace; A crown of glory she will deliver to you.”

I'll never fully understand God - if God was understandable, I'd stop reaching for Him once I got there. I'd become prideful.

If I could understand God, I'd be the stronger one. I could be in control because I could explain it.

What would God be if we could control Him? See, that's the beauty of who God is.

Unfathomable. Infinite. Awesome. Wonderful.

The coolest part is, He loves me. And He wants me to know Him. Personally.

This uncontrollable, vast, magnificent, unimaginable God - I can't understand Him, but He knows every detail about me.

And I mean, that's what faith is, right? What would faith be if we could understand and have it all under our control?

Romans 8:24 - but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?

Why would I want to put my trust in something I was in control over? That's putting trust in myself - someone who is weak - rather than Christ, who is strong.

Think about that beauty - that we can rest in a God who is Greater.