AAHHH!!!

Hey everyone! Last week I entered in my local radio station's music competition - and guess what????

I made it to SEMI FINALS!!!!

The winner gets to play a solo in Benaroya Hall, and the top 10 get to play intermission music or something grand at Benaroya as well. Ahhhh how I would love to do that. :)

Please click HERE to vote for my video!

Currently I am #3 on the first page - this doesn't mean anything placing/vote-wise, because they rotate people through the first page each week. It says you can vote only once a week, but they sent out an email to clarify and you can actually vote once a day. :) And you can tell your friends!!

It's not really my best time through it, but ah well. One of these days I'll get a nice version up with no cuts and on a NIIICE piano.

In other news, I leave for Idaho tomorrow! Prayers would be appreciated. :D

Ahh! super excited right now. Heehee. :)

~Hannah

Nationals! [part ? - day 1]

I wrote this after the first day of Nationals and never posted it - but then came back later and saw it, and it amused me, so I thought I'd share it with you. =)

I do declare. The fastest way to become acquainted with any building is to do a speech tournament there. Nothing throws your sense of direction off more than having absolutely no idea where you are. (that sounded redundant. anyway.) But nothing helps you to learn faster than the fact that you absolutely have to get somewhere on time.

Thus was my Monday.

Nationals! [part VI - to the attic]

I'm really not quite sure where to start, and I'm dreadfully determined to keep this short and not drawn out. Which is fortunate, because speech tournaments have a way of draining me of sounding anything near articulate and descriptive.

Nationals. It was....a lot different than I was expecting. I thought it would be a life changing, inspiring, hopefully victorious tournament - but it wasn't. It was life changing, yes, but in an entirely different way. I expected to have the Hannah-on-speech-energy-thrill the whole time. But I wasn't.

I'm rather ashamed to admit I was a bit of a jerk for the first half of the tournament. It was Nationals, and this was supposed to be my tournament. I was the speech geek, and I fear I thought I should be in the center of attention.

Towards the end of the week, I sort of regained myself, and the rest of the tournament was most enjoyable.

As for actual speeches, they went very well - and I'll pause here to say thank you all so much for praying for me. I could feel it, I really could. The duo didn't break, but I broke to semis with my IO, and ended up placing 10th.

Before he gave out the awards, Mr. Larimer, the president of NCFCA, told us that these awards - in a couple of years - wouldn't matter. No one would care who got 5th and who got 1st. That gigantic trophy? It'll end up in the attic sooner or later.

And you know what? He was right. I expected to get this thrill when I walked across the stage to receive my 10th place medal. I mean, goodness, it's Nationals. The highest level of speech competition there is. Not to mention that this is my first year in speech. But it was no different than any other stage.

But that cheap little medal is so insignificant compared to the friendships I built that week. What I want to hold dear to me of that week is not the fact that I came in 10th in the nation, but the sweet memories with my friends - in between rounds, in halls before rounds, during meals, worship - this is what is important to me.

I had a grand time giving my speeches...making people laugh with the duo and sharing the message in my IO. Speech is SO much fun, and not only have I made amazing friends, but I've learned so much...about communication, people, and God.

My IO is on the depth of God's truth within Chinese characters - and the high point of my speech is the character for righteousness - formed by the character lamb over the character me.


Lamb











Me



Righteousness












One of my dear friends encouraged me with Ps. 71:16 - way back when I first began this speech - and she didn't even know my speech was on righteousness at that time.

I will go in the strength of the LORD, I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.

This, is what my speech is about. I am here for one purpose, and one only, and that is to bring glory to my Father, the one who enabled me to go so far in the first place. My speech is His, the message is His, and I share it - so that others may see His light.

Nationals! [part V - That's going in the book]

Yes, Hannah still does author this blog. And yes, she has returned from Nationals quite safely, thank you. Yes. I'm finally posting about nationals. :) I have about 10 billion thoughts swirling in my head in relation to my trip. And I really do like it when people post thoroughly about their trips, so I'll try to do the same. But it will probably take me a month, so bear with me. :)

In my perfect little world, I was hoping to get a picture of Regent just like the one off their website that I've been using for the past few Nats posts. Except with me in it. Wouldn't that have been cool? Except that I never did. So here's one of another part of the campus. That I did take. :)

And now, for pictures of Nationals. Most of these are from my camera...hopefully my friend will send me hers and I'll have a few more to post.

It's impossible to capture my nationals experience in one post with a few pictures. And as Gray said later, "after four years of communication studies, I've still found that occasionally, music just says it better."

So here's a song for you to listen to while you look at the pictures. Yes, I know I'm obsessed with it. Listen to it for me, please? :P

This is the sign at the hotel we stayed in. I like it. And that the "W" is an upside down "M"

(at the banquet) We. Want. Breaks!!!!!!

My new friend Christiana, whom I met at the beginning of the year. We had a fun time at Nats. :)

Audrey! :)

The crazy guys of our group. X)

I always wanted to do a feet picture.... :P

If they don't announce breaks soon.....

This is what we're gonna do!!!

Oh, no, we're not nervous for breaks AT ALL....

Okay, maybe a just a *little* nervous....

Not quite sure what Sophia and I were thinking here. I have a feeling Rebecca grabbed my camera, said "make a face", and...uh. We did. :P

BREAKS!!!!!!!!! (note the 2009 banner. Yeah. Fail, NCFCA.)

After the banquet, with the joy of having broken to semis putting a skip to my step, we went dancing in the pouring down rain. In our speech clothes. It felt better than I can describe. ::sigh of contentment::

Friends. Forever. :)

And geeks forever too. 8)

Now we fast forward through all rounds, panic, running-around-in-dress-shoes-and-80-dgree-weather, turmoil, meals, sleeping, (or lack therof), getting lost, frantic food cramming, breaks, getting lost, breaks, getting lost..... to the awards.

Mr. Larimer and a bunch of gigantic trophies

After awards.

We walked to Shoney's for a ballot party - and were rather amused by the uh....descriptive nature of this sign. :P

I love these girls so much.

This is a cool picture. =]

A lot of laughing went on that night....

This is it! The end. NCFCA year is over. Yes. This was the best part of the tournament; the only ballot party I ever went to; with some of my best friends ever.

Nationals! [part I]

New news! (I like that phrase. New News. Anyway.)

So, you remember my IO got an AL (at large) slot to Nationals. I had two other speeches at the regional tournament - one was a dramatic interp, and the other was a duo with my brother.

I didn't expect our duo to break to regionals much less the semi-finals in regionals. They took all the duo finalists to nationals plus two from the semi-finals. Unfortunately we weren't in the top two. But we were third.

No, we didn't qualify. Or get at large. (we only took this to one qualifier and placed 7th)

Buuuuuuuut.

Someone dropped out of nationals. Which means - that's right - the next duo in line gets to go.

Guess who was next in line???!!!!!

Yep. So Winnie-the-Pooh, the "childish selection" duo, the "let's-throw-this-together-in-2-weeks-so-we-can-go-to-Idaho" duo: is going to Nationals!!!

I'm super excited, to say the least!! We're gonna get creamed for sure, but hey. I'm just excited it gets to go, that I'll have more to do during that week, and Oooh, I'm so excited. :)

Now a Memory....

...Thus was the course of my Monday-through-Friday-until-around-6:30-ish

Like I said last time I posted about the tournament - it was going great. I was looking forward to Friday and Saturday.

Friday evening, shortly after they had just announced that speech breaks would not be until Saturday morning (::grumble::), we were informed that the Chinese-style shirt I had worn for my Chinese speech (Illustrated Oratory - IO) was being thought of as a costume. We spent the next 2+ hours trying to convince them otherwise.

Their "concern" was that I had made a mental connection between the shirt and my speech, and that they couldn't have me "enhancing my speech that way". They also said that it would be an unfair advantage to other students. We tried to tell them I had worn it to previous qualifying tournaments and no one said anything, that I had worn it for my completely UN-Chinese DI (Dramatic Interpretation) and duo. But they were pretty much unshakable.

Slowly, with each passing question, they beat my dream of ever making it to nationals this year to the ground.

Have you ever worked for a long, long time for something you really wanted, only to find disappointment? I have never, ever in my life have a goal I was so motivated to work towards.

You think I was obsessed when it came to Bible quiz meets? To piano competitions? The Bible bee, even? I've never been obsessed with winning, so much as the process. Perhaps it's because I'm used to coming in 2nd all the time. But for some reason, I've never placed 1st in something huge (Awana Grand Prix does NOT count), but I've never been that upset over it. I'm content with 2nd, or 3rd - so long as everything was played fairly and there wasn't some sort of emotional battle going on (like games and quiz this year) while doing it.

But that's because I've never aimed for 1st. I've always felt that someone else would be there, so I'll just aim for 2nd place. You know what I did this time?

I aimed for 1st. I told myself what my friend has told himself for his competitions. I'm going to win this. I am going to make it to nationals. While I know I didn't put as much work as I could have (all that last minute stuff, you know....), I really put a lot of myself into it.

You know me. I love obsessing over things, being a perfectionist, and doing everything just right. I throw myself into something I love. And I haven't had anything this year to do that with.

But Tuesday night before the tournament, I realized that I didn't deserve to win. I didn't deserve to qualify for nationals. I had continually put things off until this last minute, why should God just let me qualify to a national tournament like that?

But oh, I had such high hopes. So I told God that this was His tournament. I told Him I wanted more than anything in the world to qualify for nationals, but if He didn't want me to, then I would still rejoice - whatever was His will.

I think He took me up on it - although I sure didn't think it would happen this way.

About a third of the way through that conversation, we had to pause because they had to go announce debate breaks. So I went into the bathroom, dried my eyes, and told God this was for Him...over, and over, and over again. Then I told myself I was fabulous, that everything was fabulous, and went back into the room and recited 1 Corinthians 13 three times through to myself before they came back.

And then they did. My brain kept spinning, they kept questioning me, repeating over and over again that I had admitted to making a connection between a Chinese shirt and a Chinese speech and therefore had violated the rule......

I understood their intentions. I understood their reasoning. I understood, and they knew it. But no amount of our position could persuade them otherwise.

But through the tears, some kind of peace kept pushing. My heart kept crying out that God had a plan, He had a reason. He was still sovereign, still good.

It could have been the sheer injustice of it all. But by the time I arrived Saturday morning, my entire club knew - and it was oh, such a beautiful blessing to be surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. By the end of the day, it felt like half the competitors were on my side.

After the tournament, they (the board of directors/interrogators) told me I would have broken to semis. (we asked for this information) I knew that was the case. I know I would have broken to finals, and I'm convinced I would have qualified for nationals.

But something in me kept saying, "look at all the ways God has blessed you. You aren't going to nationals, but look what else you have."

• I qualified to regionals. Most novices aren't expected to get that far.
  
• Regionals was in WA. Normally it's somewhere else, like Colorado. That's far.
  
• If that wasn't enough: Regionals was 2 minutes from my house. A 15 minute walk. Closer than any of the qualifying tournaments.
  
• The only event I never broke in was impromptu (my DI, IO, and duo all qualified for Regionals)
• Alright, alright, it is my first year. (but I set high goals for myself, first year or not)
  
• My IO placed 2nd and 3rd in qualifiers
• God provided the means for me to compete in 3 qualifiers, one of which was out of state
• Our duo broke to semis at regionals - something I was not expecting
  
• My friends, Oh, Heavenly Father, my friends are such a blessing.

The worship that morning was somehow geared exactly towards everything that had happened. I left the tournament knowing that God had a reason, a plan, and a purpose - regardless of how much it hurt - even if I never went to nationals.

This is a poem that Gray wrote awhile back, which she shared with me after the tournament:

Lord, I come with humbled heart,
My pride has left my eyes.
I come a child, full of trust,
I leave behind all ties.
I come a child, unconcerned
With things too great for me,
I come a child, longing just
To sit here, at your knee.
With quiet soul, and patient heart,
I put my hope in you.
I give my heart! I give my soul!
I’m yours, Lord, through and through!

The Weight of Glory

Have you ever been in the place where you're so caught up in the mucky things in life that you begin to find your identity in your problems?

After my disqualification, I was trying very, very hard not to let this happen to me. I've done it with lots of other situations and I was sick of the depressing feeling and the tears. I didn't want to let it eat me up. As much as I love the comfort of my friends, I didn't want to be selfish and self-centered by trying to draw a lot of attention to myself.

It's hard to stay focused on God regardless of feelings. And by Wednesday, I was getting pretty bad at it. But about halfway through Wednesday, I realized that I could not let this get to me. I literally told myself:

Hannah. You are disqualified. You are not going to Nationals. We live, we learn, we move on. God obviously didn't want you there, so you need to buck up and keep going.

I think I had myself somewhat consoled, when dad ran and told me to get off the internet quick, because we needed to save bandwidth and Mrs. P was on the phone. (she was the assistant tournament director)

Almost the moment my coach said "we need to talk about your IO", I knew my dream of going to nationals was going down the drain. And the moment I heard Mrs. P was on the phone, I was almost positive I knew what she had called about.

....I was right. (::happy dance!::) Mrs. P was calling to tell me that I had received an at large slot for my IO. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

For those of you not in speech, "at large" is when you do well in multiple tournaments (I'm guessing like 4th or higher in at least 2 tournaments - but what does this novice know?) but don't qualify for nationals at the regional tournament. This "at large" slot is a spot in the national tournament!!!!!

So yes, in plain, beautiful, wonderful English: I AM GOING TO NATIONALS!

::calms down::

It absolutely amazes me what God can - and will - do, when we "carry on". Not just "*sniffsniff*, okay, I can do this" kind of thing. Really, totally, and fully realizing that God has a greater purpose, and continuing on in the faith that He will reveal it to you in time.

Saying that "there is a reason, there is a hope, God is still good, He is GOD, and I will worship Him no matter what" is precious in the dark. It's what you hold onto.

I've never felt such peace about accepting God's will before. About letting go, and throwing myself into the trust of my Heavenly Father. And when I did, it suddenly put into perspective all the other things that were only partially surrendered to God. Things like church and friendships. While I've tried to surrender them to God, I always seemed to "find identity" in those problems. This problem was just as emotional - but comparatively smaller than others - which put it into perspective for me what it means to surrender something to God.

It is not until we do that that the morning can come. And no matter how long it takes to dawn, whether it be a month, a year, or 5 days as it did for me, this is my prayer - With everything I am, and everything I have - I dedicate myself to doing one thing well: I will love you.

Oh, oh, oh!

[Sorry this is so incredibly late. I'm catching up, really. I wrote a majority of this right after Idaho but have just gotten around to posting it. Regionals post is coming soon.]

I had the most FABULOUS time at the Idaho tournament over March 18-20. The week preceding was filled with seehowmuchofyourspeechyoucancramintooneday! along with script submission forms, last minute duo changes, and more double stick tape and magnets than a sane person should be handling at one time.

After frantically scurrying around, trying to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything of significant importance, (mind you, this was the first time Raymond and I had gone anywhere without mom or dad. It took awhile to get out the door. =P) we all got in the car and drove to the M's house, since they were taking us. After mom and dad had left (and I had checked the car 3 times to make sure nothing of significance was left in there), we proceeded to spend the next 2 hours chasing angry chickens and running around their house, making sure we hadn't forgotten anything of significant importance.

And off we went!

Us Poor Washingtonians. So excited about a little bit of snow.

I love this picture.

We had way too much fun on this car trip.

Sarah, who I called "my monkey" for most of the trip, making her "Giant" face for her speech


I have officially adopted her as another of my little sisters.



Self Explanatory.

Sorry for the bad video quality....this was before I switched to using Raymond's camera. This was right about when we reached Spokane.

We were frantically trying to get Raymond's camera set up so we could film us actually crossing the boarder.

Okay, so maybe I was a *little* excited about getting to Idaho....
(Here you get to hear my "Idaho poem" which was composed specially for the tournament)

We arrived at the church,
survived script submissions and registration,
and then stopped at a Mexican restaurant for dinner with the M family, Mrs. M's brother's family, and Mrs. M's parents. Raymond and I were particularly amused by the "deep fried ice cream" on the dessert menu, which we all got to try in honor of Rebecca's birthday.

Rebecca, Sarah, and I all shared a room....and boy did we have good times.
This was actually our second night. The first night into the first day of the tournament was WAY to hectic to worry about taking pictures. =P

Sisters. =)

"Close your eyes and look like you're asleep!"

"AAAHHHH!!!!"

Bright and early the next morning, after frantic showers, inhaling our breakfast, last minute hair fixes, blazers, tie-malfunctions, and other such things as come with speech competitions, we all hurried out into a crisp, cool Idaho morning (translated as: FREEZING!) to drive to the church.

Just to illustrate how cold it was....




We found some of the most amusing things on the way...

Expensive energy drinks, no?

One LONG tournament day later...the mental-craze of the tournament is finally setting in as we marveled over this chicken like thing right outside the tournament...for which the video is unavailable. But know speech tournaments do weird things to your brain. (haven't I said this already?)

On the way home, we took the "Cliff Road", as Rebecca calls it, by Coeur d'Alene lake.

GORGEOUS.

For once I was satisfied with the results of my attempts-at-photography...

Sarah liked the hairpiece I used on day two, and she asked me to put it in her hair when we got home.

Little model <3

Next day...... Semis/Finals breaks. ...... AAAAAHHHHHH!!! This is where Hannah gets overly hyper and excited.Our duo (me and Raymond) broke to semis, but not to finals. My Dramatic Interp. broke to finals, as did my Illustrated Oratory.

Semis and finals have always been my favorite rounds (even though they are the most nerve racking)....I get the adrenaline rush and the energy high and run around frantically trying to find rooms, trying not to be nervous, watching some of the really good speeches, and enjoying myself immensely.

This is the kind of thing you do before you go into a round. Pace back and forth looking at patterns on the walls. =P
(actually, he wasn't waiting for a round. But he did find some kind of odd pattern)

Waiting for the awards ceremony with my friend Gabby...

Our duo placed 12th, my dramatic placed 6th, and my illustrated placed 3rd.

And little Miss Sarah competed in the Junior Tournament they held with "Jack and the Beanstalk" for her dramatic. She was the youngest competitor in the entire tournament and placed 3rd. I have never seen her so happy. :)

(she's the shortest one with the lovely green dress)
All in all, it was a lovely tournament and I had a fabulous time.