Three teaching jobs in one year has done a bit of this to me:

Don't get me wrong, I love teaching. I mean, I cry listening to Adventures in Odyssey episodes about kids who signed a petition to get their substitute teacher back. Also while reading Frindle. I wouldn't trade any of the almost 50+ kids I work with every week for anything. But still...IT'S ALMOST SUMMER.

Scenes from a summer

{location: outside on the deck under the stars}

Me: "This is perfect. All we need is a blanket and some tea."
John-Luke: "And a big sister."

(later)
Me: "I wish I had a big sister."
John-Luke: "I don't."
Me: "Why?"
John-Luke: "I'm not sure I could take two of you."

Me: Look at that tiny star. It's moving, but not like a plane, like a little bug.
John-Luke: "Maybe it's a mosquito. With a flashlight."

Summer Bucket List

Read the Lord of the Rings (Hey...at least I started it! I got lost in the forest somewhere.)
Read the Space Trilogy
Write a New song (only sort of. Like little bits of 3 different songs)
Get permit
Then get license (I AM SO STINKIN CLOSE.)
Climb a new mountain (I did climb old mountains though)
Vacation to the beach
Camp in the backyard
Learn Beethoven's Sonata Op. 10 #3 in its entirety
Buy a violin
Stay off the computer
Pikes Place
Cook dinner more
Read 5 nonfiction books (okay, I started 5…I didn’t actually *finish* 5…)
Learn calligraphy/lettering
Learn to draw
Get a job
Learn to ride a horse (more like clomping around on my friend’s chubby pony…let’s just say I have a ways to go till I’ve actually “learned.”)
Go to the Highland Games (well, I missed the Highland Games due to awana camp. But I went to a rodeo instead. Not the same thing obviously, but I decided it qualified for long-distance outdoor fair-type/entertainment sort of thing)
Learn archery
Find a medieval dress/cloak
Taking a shopping trip to the thrift store
Take pictures in a photobooth at the mall
Get a toy from "THE CLAW"
Write Nana a letter every week
Get hair cut

It was a good summer.

Where the Stories Go.

I wanted to do a nice re-cap of my summer.

Tell you about what life was without the computer. How positively freeing it is, even though I didn't quite manage it. How I realized that my freedom isn't tied to the internet, it's tied to me.

I wanted to capture the awesomeness of the life I lived this summer into a blog post so you could experience a piece of it. To powerfully put into words the things I discovered.

But...I feel as if...the moment something is written down or expressed in spoken words, it is like you have put a bird into a cage. You have confined it, stripped it of meaning, limited its existence.

Words simply cannot capture the essence of truth. It is beyond, even, what humans could possibly comprehend even with their spirit. Not only is it not limited to words and understanding, but it is completely beyond this reality in which I live.

So much of my life has been lived trying to capture bits of truth into "my book of days." To write it down, to treasure it so that I know exactly where it is and how to find it and can pull it out at the right moment in a way that makes people think I am awesome. Trying to fit the ocean into my cup, to stretch my finite capacities to understand the unreachable limitless world of the infinite.

And I can't. I can't hold onto truth because truth is not mine to hold and keep.

In the words of a dear friend: "I'm not losing something by unfurling my grasp on it. Every single thing that occurs on this earth, that touches me, is still changing the world and molding my journey, my person, whether or not a record is kept of it. "

We are stuck in the in between, we are waiting, pressing on for a goal unreachable on this earth -- yet the very pressing on in and of itself means that we are not failing.

I had hoped to come back to blogging full of fire for writing, but now I find that writing cannot capture truly living. I will still write, I suppose -- but hopefully not in a way that lives for the praise I desire from readers, or from my need to know and understand everything, but simply for the living, for the discovering -- sharing, growing, becoming. To seek understanding without becoming a slave to it.

Mike Donehey (lead singer for tenth avenue north, in case you forgot) said, "I don’t write,
because I know what I’m talking about, I write precisely because I don’t know what I’m talking about....I write to unriddle my heart."

To unriddle my heart.

Summer Bucket List

Read the Lord of the Rings
Read the Space Trilogy
Write a new song
Get permit
Then get license
Hike a new mountain
Vacation to a beach
Campout in the backyard
Learn Beethoven's Sonata Op. 10 No. 3 in its entirety
Buy a violin
Stay off the computer
Adventure through Pike's Place
Cook dinner more often
Read at least 5 non-fiction books

...and that's just the beginning.

Nationals! [part VI - to the attic]

I'm really not quite sure where to start, and I'm dreadfully determined to keep this short and not drawn out. Which is fortunate, because speech tournaments have a way of draining me of sounding anything near articulate and descriptive.

Nationals. It was....a lot different than I was expecting. I thought it would be a life changing, inspiring, hopefully victorious tournament - but it wasn't. It was life changing, yes, but in an entirely different way. I expected to have the Hannah-on-speech-energy-thrill the whole time. But I wasn't.

I'm rather ashamed to admit I was a bit of a jerk for the first half of the tournament. It was Nationals, and this was supposed to be my tournament. I was the speech geek, and I fear I thought I should be in the center of attention.

Towards the end of the week, I sort of regained myself, and the rest of the tournament was most enjoyable.

As for actual speeches, they went very well - and I'll pause here to say thank you all so much for praying for me. I could feel it, I really could. The duo didn't break, but I broke to semis with my IO, and ended up placing 10th.

Before he gave out the awards, Mr. Larimer, the president of NCFCA, told us that these awards - in a couple of years - wouldn't matter. No one would care who got 5th and who got 1st. That gigantic trophy? It'll end up in the attic sooner or later.

And you know what? He was right. I expected to get this thrill when I walked across the stage to receive my 10th place medal. I mean, goodness, it's Nationals. The highest level of speech competition there is. Not to mention that this is my first year in speech. But it was no different than any other stage.

But that cheap little medal is so insignificant compared to the friendships I built that week. What I want to hold dear to me of that week is not the fact that I came in 10th in the nation, but the sweet memories with my friends - in between rounds, in halls before rounds, during meals, worship - this is what is important to me.

I had a grand time giving my speeches...making people laugh with the duo and sharing the message in my IO. Speech is SO much fun, and not only have I made amazing friends, but I've learned so much...about communication, people, and God.

My IO is on the depth of God's truth within Chinese characters - and the high point of my speech is the character for righteousness - formed by the character lamb over the character me.


Lamb











Me



Righteousness












One of my dear friends encouraged me with Ps. 71:16 - way back when I first began this speech - and she didn't even know my speech was on righteousness at that time.

I will go in the strength of the LORD, I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.

This, is what my speech is about. I am here for one purpose, and one only, and that is to bring glory to my Father, the one who enabled me to go so far in the first place. My speech is His, the message is His, and I share it - so that others may see His light.

Nationals! [part V - That's going in the book]

Yes, Hannah still does author this blog. And yes, she has returned from Nationals quite safely, thank you. Yes. I'm finally posting about nationals. :) I have about 10 billion thoughts swirling in my head in relation to my trip. And I really do like it when people post thoroughly about their trips, so I'll try to do the same. But it will probably take me a month, so bear with me. :)

In my perfect little world, I was hoping to get a picture of Regent just like the one off their website that I've been using for the past few Nats posts. Except with me in it. Wouldn't that have been cool? Except that I never did. So here's one of another part of the campus. That I did take. :)

And now, for pictures of Nationals. Most of these are from my camera...hopefully my friend will send me hers and I'll have a few more to post.

It's impossible to capture my nationals experience in one post with a few pictures. And as Gray said later, "after four years of communication studies, I've still found that occasionally, music just says it better."

So here's a song for you to listen to while you look at the pictures. Yes, I know I'm obsessed with it. Listen to it for me, please? :P

This is the sign at the hotel we stayed in. I like it. And that the "W" is an upside down "M"

(at the banquet) We. Want. Breaks!!!!!!

My new friend Christiana, whom I met at the beginning of the year. We had a fun time at Nats. :)

Audrey! :)

The crazy guys of our group. X)

I always wanted to do a feet picture.... :P

If they don't announce breaks soon.....

This is what we're gonna do!!!

Oh, no, we're not nervous for breaks AT ALL....

Okay, maybe a just a *little* nervous....

Not quite sure what Sophia and I were thinking here. I have a feeling Rebecca grabbed my camera, said "make a face", and...uh. We did. :P

BREAKS!!!!!!!!! (note the 2009 banner. Yeah. Fail, NCFCA.)

After the banquet, with the joy of having broken to semis putting a skip to my step, we went dancing in the pouring down rain. In our speech clothes. It felt better than I can describe. ::sigh of contentment::

Friends. Forever. :)

And geeks forever too. 8)

Now we fast forward through all rounds, panic, running-around-in-dress-shoes-and-80-dgree-weather, turmoil, meals, sleeping, (or lack therof), getting lost, frantic food cramming, breaks, getting lost, breaks, getting lost..... to the awards.

Mr. Larimer and a bunch of gigantic trophies

After awards.

We walked to Shoney's for a ballot party - and were rather amused by the uh....descriptive nature of this sign. :P

I love these girls so much.

This is a cool picture. =]

A lot of laughing went on that night....

This is it! The end. NCFCA year is over. Yes. This was the best part of the tournament; the only ballot party I ever went to; with some of my best friends ever.

Nationals! [part IV - hotels, beaches, and humidity]

I'll spare you any pre-flight turmoil and get straight to the trip...sorry the pictures are so small. They all uploaded in "small" and I forgot to change the size.

Day one: fly, walk, eat, sleep, fly, walk, eat, sleep......

Chicago Midway airport - don't you love that half of us wore our NCFCA t-shirts? :P

On ze plane.

Day two: Navigate strange city; make GPS work; shop; eat; visit beach; walk; eat...eat...eat...

I loved this beach, because it was like the beaches you see in movies. Big, long, beach with soft, tan sand....not anything like the rocky grey beaches the northwest has.



Earlier today, we found this smoothie shop called "Tropical Smoothie Cafe", and really liked it, so when we found another one in VA beach, we didn't hesitate to go in there for dinner. They have REALLY GOOD food. Especially their flatbread sandwiches. The Chicken Pesto one. mmmmmmmmmmm. :)

Ryan playing around with the sunglasses

Love this face on Rebecca

Thus completes days 1 and 2. :)