A dream to believe in

This darling little post has been sitting in my drafts folder ever since before Nationals, begging to be posted. I've hesitated posting it for a long time because it's long, has no pictures...and well, it's long. But it's a huge thing that the Lord did in my life with speech & debate, so I hope it's a blessing to all who make it through the whole thing... (:

I've wanted to post for a long time about my experience with getting to Nationals. The whole trip was/is rather....surreal. I suppose it's because I'm such a novice, and on top of that, I've never competed in anything outside of the state, (besides Idaho this year), much less a Nation-wide competition.

I've always felt, for a long time, that National competitions were for the super-smart people. The people who were really good and had the perfect opportunities and coaches and were just...well. Super good. And aside from the distant (now pretty much shattered - but that's okay) dream of going to Awana quiz nationals (which you don't have to qualify to get to), I'd never really wanted to do anything big.

Nationals is big......but not that big. It put into perspective for me the kind of potential God has given people.

My thwarted views of "who" could go to a National tournament kind of pushed me down a little for awhile. That is, until I discovered that the National tournament was in Virginia - where some of my amazing friends live. Now I've really wanted to see these friends for a super long time, and this was a HUGE motivation for me to work harder.

I can tell you right now, I have never thrown myself into something - anything - with as much passion as I did for this tournament. I wanted more than anything in the world to qualify for Nationals - and see these friends - and suddenly, all the time I spent doing other things (anything besides school) seemed like a waste of time if I could be practicing my speech. (okay, I wasn't that obsessed. But you get the idea.)

I have other friends who have gone to national competitions before, and one in particular has a passion for working towards something like I've never seen in a person. This friend has a saying of "Don't be the best you can be - be the best there ever was." And while that can seem vain sometimes, it was another one of those things that reminded me that I have so much more potential in Christ. Not that you are the best, but that we should strive for more. Reach for more because God has so much more He can do through us.

Anyway, this friend of mine went to DC for a competition - and what it put into perspective for me was that qualifying for a national competition is a very big thing - but also a very real, attainable goal. Not just something for the "good people". (I shall note, this friend is super good)

It's humbling when I look back on the work I did to "get there". Because I know I didn't actually give my best. I gave more than I usually did - but I don't think I gave my best. I mentioned in the post about my IO being dq'ed (disqualified) that I put a lot of things off and didn't work on speech when I should have. But I think there was also a focus somewhere in there - stronger than my horrible procrastination habits - that drove me.

Another thing is that this was a very small goal in comparison to the larger-picture things I seem to do....not just "becoming a better pianist/flutist" or "doing well in school" or "managing my time better"...I guess I could see the end of the tunnel a little better. Nationals was set in my mind as June 7-11, in order to get there I had to be prepared at Regionals in March.

Some people have asked me what I've learned in speech. And my answer is....too many things to count. But one of them is this: I can do anything I want. Don't get me wrong. I don't mean that in the rebellious/wild/crazy way. What I mean is this: We have potential in Christ. If you have a dream, and God gives you a green light, don't hesitate to throw yourself into it. We are created to do so much more for Christ, to impact the world for His Kingdom. And nothing should stop us. No, not even a disqualification. (:

We, the children of God, saved by His sacrifice for us, have incredibly potential to reach others for His glory. What can we do but give it back to Him in total surrender? To reach higher, for all that He has created us to be - living entirely for Him.

When I look back at that speech & debate year, I can only gaze in awe at the wonder of how God works.

-He provided the means for 2 Washington qualifiers
-He gave me 2nd place in my first qualifier
-He enabled me to memorize my speech & finish my boards the night before the tournament - well enough to place 2nd.
-He provided the means to travel to the Idaho tournament where I placed 2nd with my IO
-He provided the time and creativity to cut and block the duo Raymond and I did which ended up qualifying for Regionls. (just a quick!let's-throw-this-together-duo)
-He put Regionals in Washington. Often enough it's out of state or a 2-hour drive away - but not only was it Washington, and in Renton,
-He put it 5 minutes away from my house. As if that weren't enough,
-He put Regionals in a church I had grown up in and was familiar with.
-He disqualified me from Regionals. I know that sounds crazy, but it ended up being a blessing, because I learned what it means to accept God's will.
-He gave me the at large slot for Nationals. You have NO idea how positively thrilled I was!! ;)
-Weeks later, He gave Raymond and I the roll-down slot for our duo to Nationals. (How many novices qualify for nationals in 2 events?! God is AMAZING. Because it's not my skill, it's how He worked through me. And it simply leaves me in awe.)
-He provided the means to get to Nationals. Plane tickets. Hotel room. Rental car. God did that. He kept us all healthy.
-He took me to semi-finals in my IO, gave me 10th in the Nation. And when I look at that, 10th in the Nation is pretty cool. But when I walked across the stage to get my medal, I didn't get the thrill I thought I would. I thought I'd feel amazing for being 10th in the Nation. But I didn't. What I think was amazing was what God did - to take me there.
-And, at the end of the week, He gave me a wonderful time with some of the most amazing friends anyone could ask for.

Us with our friends in Charlottesville. The time we spent with these wonderful friends was probably one of the best weeks of my whole summer - so far! =]

Nationals was not all I expected it to be - yet here I am, at the end of the tunnel titled "Hannah's Novice NCFCA Year". It's been a journey I'll never forget, because God knew what He was doing when this ignorant novice walked into the Silversmith club in September of '09. He knew it would end like this, even though I didn't. And I can tell you, my time in Virginia was completely worth every bit of the heart, tears, hours, magnets, and gluesticks I put into it. (: