I keep on giving in to the things that kill me, yeah.
Oh, tempted heart, come alive
I feel you burning inside.
Weary soul, lift your eyes
To a city where life will never die. 

This rusted world can't satisfy
There's nothing here that will survive
The night will end,
The sun will rise
On a city where life will never die.

Saw them live last Saturday. So good. 

The process of creativity must be found within the greater context of our pursuit of God. If we pursue creativity outside of this context we open ourselves up to self indulgence and competitiveness where the end product can impede, rather than aid, the church. As we pursue after God, the Spirit crafts His heart within us. The desire of self recognition and attention dwindle in the light of the divine desires for God’s glory and the beauty of His bride. 

-Rend Collective Experiment

The Abyss of Adventure.

This life is wild and precious.

I only have one.

Each day, each moment, each year -- it will only happen once.

It is not a safe journey. It is not a comfortable trail.

And I am not fearless. I am a coward, I am afraid of pain and suffering, I am afraid of losing, afraid of letting myself go into the unknown.  Afraid of not being liked, afraid of failure...the list is endless.

But that fear is alright, because I am not on a journey to become a fearless hero. I am on a journey to know my Creator. To seek and find the truth.

That fear is alright, because I have a God who is beyond me. Even if I don't feel comfortable in my own skin...my God did not make me for this world.

There was this moment this past weekend in which I found myself sandwiched in the backseat of a friend's car as a surprise for her birthday. Head down, feet tucked under -- trying to be as inconspicuous and small as possible.

I watched glimpses of trees blip past my small, poorly angled view of the window -- able only to wonder what was really going on when the brakes were slammed on or the road suddenly got bumpy. And I had no concept of when we'd get there or how long the trip was.

But listening to the music coming from the speakers, loving the voices and conversations of the driver and passenger, I realized I was able to enjoy each moment while it was there because there was no telling -- not even the slightest hint -- of how long it would be there.

The end of my story is unknown.

The reasons behind events I encounter are unseen.

My view of reality is skewed, narrow, limited.

And I am not fearless.

But perhaps I can be brave. Perhaps I can have courage.

Perhaps this abyss holds adventure.

Scenes from a summer

{location: outside on the deck under the stars}

Me: "This is perfect. All we need is a blanket and some tea."
John-Luke: "And a big sister."

(later)
Me: "I wish I had a big sister."
John-Luke: "I don't."
Me: "Why?"
John-Luke: "I'm not sure I could take two of you."

Me: Look at that tiny star. It's moving, but not like a plane, like a little bug.
John-Luke: "Maybe it's a mosquito. With a flashlight."

A small sampling

I like admiring people's senior pictures a lot. I think my friends are pretty. But when I got to have my own done I was little bit nervous because I was all like:

WHAT IF I'M NOT AS PHOTOGENIC AS MY MIRROR SAYS I AM.

True story.

But photographers, you see, practice the art of making non-photogenic people look like they must look this great all the time. And in my case, the practiced artist is Keilah Engstrom over at Vanilla Bean Photography. I never really realized all the stuff that goes into photography (like this little invincible light reflector thing. That was cool.) and it takes skill and knowledge -- something which she's definitely not lacking in! (I just point and shoot and stick it in a filter. Not real photography, kids.)

Contrary to my preconceived expectation ("taking pictures of yourself...that sounds vain. and awkward.") this was really really fun, (and not awkward at all), and I highly recommend her if you need senior, family, or wedding pictures. (and while I guess I can't say I speak from experience on the wedding part, if you look at her blog there are some SUPER gorgeous ones. ahh! wedding pictures make me kinda happy.)

Here's a bit of the fun we had, and you can see more of them HERE and be sure to check out her facebook page HERE.

 

A trivial post about things that make me happy.

RECORD SEATTLE SUNSHINE. It hasn't rained in months. I know I post about the weather too much but seriously if it was this sunny all the time I think I would be considerably happier.

It honestly is so good that I feel as if school is supposed to be ending. It's OCTOBER! the leaves are actually crunchy. I am so pleased. 

Also, you know how I used to be able to say that I don't watch tv?

I sort of can't really say that anymore. Although it still holds true that I don't watch live streamed television with advertisements and set showtimes. I just watch stuff when they post it on the internet.

And I have rather unfortunately fallen prey to yet another cultural trend on the internet, by the name of  "Doctor Who"

Yep.

All that wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.

It's fascinating. Intriguing. It's also terrifying and completely thrilling. Refreshing, too. I needed a break from romantic drama. I keep forgetting how much I like science fiction.
Also Matt Smith is really good looking.

School is positively delightful. I'm learning all sorts of fascinating things in all of my classes, and all of them make me think, which I like. I've also been working in three different teaching environments, which challenges my teaching skills in multiple directions.

Lastly, in what bits of spare time I can find -- waiting for my ride, in the 10 minutes before class starts, while I have my after school snack -- I've been soaking up A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle.

I really need to write an entire post devoted to her. Her writing is wonderful.

Such is my life at present. But I swore I wouldn't procrastinate my homework any longer so off I go.

-H