Skeletons

I've cast about for ways to figure out a way to word the sort of thoughts that have been swimming in my head the past few weeks. God is amazing, and He has been teaching me some super amazing things. They're sort of painful things, but I'm finding how...oh...how powerful such simple truths that God says are. Like "I value you. So much that I died for you. Despite how wretched you are."

When I was littler (is that a word? littler?), I remember feeling rather proud of myself for coming up with a "quote" of my own...or at least, a sort of tangible form to represent what God was teaching me, something that sounded good and made sense...at least to me. I remember saying to myself,

"You never really learn something until you learn it for yourself."

I liked the sort of somewhat oxymoron it sounded like when I first said it. What I meant was how no lessons can compare to the lesson of good 'ole personal experience. People tell us to learn from others mistakes - which is great, of course. If you can avoid making mistakes by watching others, that's fabulous. But there's some kind of...strength, of maturity, of knowledge that comes when you learn from your own mistakes. Or not even mistakes, but the experience of something...anything, really.

In the book The Red Badge of Courage, guess what a "red badge of courage" is? A battle wound.

Not like that's a great thing...right? I mean, who wants to get a gory, gaping, bloody, excruciatingly painful wound...living with its scars for life? But to the soldiers it represents something: an experience. It represents how they've fought courageously and heroically. It shows that they've sacrificed a part of themselves. It's there to show the pain - but also the healing.

So experience is with us. Once we've experienced something - made that mistake or messed up that time, it adds a bit of maturity to us. (assuming we acknowledge it as a mistake :P) It doesn't even really have to be a mistake or something you mess up, but any kind of day-to-day experience. Because until you've actually sought to grow - stuck yourself out on the war front and sacrificed a part of yourself, there's no experience in that. That's what getting outside your comfort zone means.

I didn't really think I had a comfort zone for awhile. (wow, that was humble, wasn't it.) I mean, I wasn't afraid of public speaking (like that's *all* the phrase "comfort zone" entails) and I wasn't afraid of people, I didn't mind trying new things and pain, change, and frustration - while it was certainly not a comforting thing, didn't really put me *out* of my comfort zone. Because all the things talked about in "Do Hard Things" (which is still an amazing book, btw.) were things that people noticed. Like public speaking.

What I discovered was that the things outside of *my* comfort zone were things completely irrelevant to the world. Like keeping a good attitude, staying off the computer, and disciplining myself. Comfort zone doesn't mean cozy-happy-laze-around-the-house-place. People who refuse to go outside of their comfort zones can look like totally secure people and be hugely successful. But comfort zone means whatever you're willing to do within your natural-instinctive-things-that-make-you-feel-good.

For instance, volunteering to the be the first one in the entire school to give a speech for the new speech class when I was in 7th grade (not to mention being the new kid) was not something that was outside of my comfort zone. I sort of thrived off of being a leader and trying daring sort of things.

But comfort zones are different for different people.

I'm starting to realize how little God can teach me unless I'm willing to be taught. (wow, strike me with a lightning bolt...) And willing to be taught means letting go of what I think God's going to teach me. And that sticks me way outside my comfort zone. Because it means I have to let go of that controlling-analytical-logical part of...myself.

You know that stereotypical-temporary-heart-changing-inspiring-youth-group-message? It goes something like this.

"We know all the Christian lingo. We sing all the songs, learn all the verses, know how to talk. But are we really living it? Are we really living in light of what Christ has done for us? We need to live lives for JESUS!"

That sort of thing. You know? I think there are multiple stages of the "typical Christian" stage. Because for a long time I was somewhere in between. The I-want-to-seek-Christ-but-I'm-not-sure-what-that-entails sort of thing.

But I'm starting to (slowly) learn what it really means to live for Christ. God's been showing me tons of little aspects of my life that He wants me to do differently, give up, or start doing. To live in light of the experiences, the blessings, and the gifts He's given me.

That...living for Christ doesn't mean that I...oh, there aren't words for it....it doesn't mean that I live by emotions and sort of wind-on-the-mountaintop sort of days. That's certainly a part of it. But living for Christ means surrendering my desires in exchange for Christ's. My views for His.

I'm an analyzer. I'm CDO (it's OCD, but in alphabetical order, like it should be), a perfectionist...I like logical ideas and things I can wrap my mind around. Things that make sense to me, that you can form a logical, scientific, and convincing argument for.

But that's the very thing that God wants me to give up. There are some things in life that I just can't analyze, understand, or argue for. And if I refuse to allow God's way of doing things to replace that, I'm never going to get anywhere.

Okay, so I'm not even sure if that made sense....and as I look back and read it it sounds just as cliche and typical as any other stereotypical-temporary-heart-changing-inspiring-youth-group-message.

But those words have more meaning to me than the stereotypical-temporary-heart-changing-inspiring-youth-group-message - because of what Christ is doing, and how He's changing me. Because when I'm willing to give up what I think is right, God replaces it with what He knows is right. And the peace and joy is kind of overwhelmingly awesome. :)

Words are just skeletons. It is not until we experience them for ourselves in our life - or God gives us some sort of revelation, that we begin to see the depth in the meaning of words. -my mom

A Lot of Logs.

The following is an cut/pasted excerpt from my original oratory in speech this year that I have been giving this week. And as I give it, I keep seeing God use it to speak to myself, to learn from it. Like a lot. This speech tournament has been a crazy up and down of emotion (they usually aren't like this. Great, huh?) and it's been really hard to keep my focus on Christ....to stay positive. You could pray for that today, as I go into semis and finals. (if I go to semis and finals. =P )


Have you ever noticed how one little thing can turn your day for the better – or for the worst?

I can be having a great day, and someone can say one thing – and it can ruin the rest of my day. Sometimes it can ruin the rest of my week. Why? Because my feelings are based off of circumstances.

Joy, however, is different. Joy does not come from happenings or circumstances, and it does not disappear in the blink of a mood.

It is one of the hardest things in the world to choose to be cheerful when circumstances turn against us. But when you take that simple step of obedience in surrendering to Christ that He will bring joy into your life.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 says Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls—Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. (NKJV Hab 3:17)

In this translation, the New King James Version, the word “joy” is used as a verb: indicating that it is an action.

It sounds cliché to say that I realized that God is with me no matter what the circumstance, and that He does have a perfect plan for everything. But this becomes such a beautiful truth when you simply don’t know what God is doing and you are left with no choice but to trust Him. I discovered that when I was willing to give up my circumstance-based feelings completely to Him – to surrender my desire for happiness for His desire for my life: He returned it with joy – joy that can only come from Him.

Happiness is a feeling – joy is a choice. We've seen how the choice of joy and a relationship with God can become real in our lives by seeking to the One who can satisfy us completely. When we are willing to take that action, to come before God and surrender ourselves to Him, realizing that there is a greater – eternal – purpose that will bring glory to God: He will give us joy. A happiness beyond words.

John 16:22 - Therefore you now have sorrow - but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice! And your joy no one will take from you.

IT'S TRUE!!!!

Rarely does something like this hit my blog moments after it hits the Narnia fan-base. But here it is.

Magician's Nephew is officially going to be the next movie.

That's right. Only a couple hours ago, The Christian Post published an article confirming that Walden Media was planning to make this movie next in the series. You can read our post at Aslan's Country HERE.

My first reaction: YES! WE GET ANOTHER NARNIA MOVIE!
My second reaction: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I really really really really want to see Silver Chair made. I think it has fabulous potential if they market it correctly. It has a plot, contrasting characters, an evil guy too! It even has lessons, Aslan appears, and the opportunity to build characters is amazing.

While they're going to be able to market this as a prequel, they're going to have to be REALLY careful...with a lot of stuff. The Magician's Nephew has a magic to it that the other books don't - and while I could abide more plot changes in Silver Chair because of it's nature, I will not abide much for this one. They'd better get it right.

Hear that, Walden? You be careful this time. Aslan's Country is watching you.

What are your thoughts?

A much needed Narnia update.

That's a warning for all you people who think I'm crazy and obsessed, you can stop reading now. (::heehee::)

So Dawn Treader recently "won" on Box Office Mojo for "biggest box office failure" (or some other such depressing title) which....yeah. I kind of have to agree. It was a box office failure - especially in the US.

The US domestic gross is currently $104,159,819 and the foreign gross is at $296,500,000 which puts the total at$400,659,819.

We were all ridiculously pleased when they finally hit $400m - woooo!!! Based purely off of opening weekend (which was a major fail: $24,005,069) it wouldn't have been near enough to continue to the next film. However, now that they have reached $400m, which exceeded their production budget by a lot ($155m) things are looking much better.

Compared to the previous movie, Prince Caspian, this isn't actually too bad. Prince Caspian started out with an opening weekend of $55,034,805. It grossed $141,621,490 domestically, $278,044,078 in other countries, and $419,665,568 worldwide.






Prince Caspian, however, was a box offices failure in contrast to what the production was expecting, based on the numbers from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe:

Opening weekend: $65,556,312
Domestic: $291,710,957
Foreign: $453,300,315
Worldwide: $745,011,272

My reasoning: Obviously LWW was a smash hit and there's nothing to worry about with that. Prince Caspian was marketed excellently (you can thank Disney for that) but had a poor theatrical run - because the production got cocky after LWW and decided to release it with Indiana Jones and Iron Man. (how dumb is that?) It had a fairly okay opening weekend, but didn't progress that far because it wasn't that good.

In contrast, their production budget was $255m. Yeah.

So then the production got scared that they'd keep losing money so they backed out and 20th Century Fox took over.

And they don't know how to market properly. VDT was probably the worst marketing failure I have ever seen in a movie - resulting in a poor opening weekend. BUT - people told other people about it - that it was a good movie - and they managed to pull off a worldwide gross that wasn't too far from Prince Caspian - and exceed Prince Caspian's foreign gross by $20m.

This poster is probably one of the most poorly designed posters in history. With the exception of Eustace, the faces of all the characters (partiularly Lucy, Edmund, and Caspian) are ridiculously washed out and none of them are in character at all. the "N" on the sail of Dawn Treader is backwards because they flipped the picture around (and how they thought they could get away with that, I don't know.) Aslan also looks like he's about to murder everyone with his laser glare. (this is a foreign poster, btw, but all of them looked the same, domestic and foreign included)

SO, that was a lot of gibberish about the box office numbers. What's next?

Originally the production of Dawn Treader said they would let fans decide whether they wanted The Magician's Nephew or The Silver Chair next - and the votes came in with an overwhelming favor for The Silver Chair. This is obviously the next logical step in the series.


However, last month, the producer of the three Narnia films thus far, Perry Moore, died on February 17th, age 39. For those of you who don't know who he is: while he was the producer, he was also the one who started the entire Narnia film franchise to begin with. He had the vision and he got the ball rolling.


After his death, a lot of fans were worried as to what the future of the films would be - until two days later, February 19th, when we learned that the night before he died, Perry Moore had secured funding for the production of - The Magician's Nephew.

So what does this mean for the series? It's looking a lot like The Magician's Nephew will be next.

While I'm ecstatic to see another Narnia film and I can't wait to see what they do with this one - I'm sorely disappointed that the Silver Chair won't be next.


I have been SO anticipating this movie for a long time, and it's always been one of my favorites in the series. And Will Poulter, who plays Eustace, is going to be too old to be in SC if they make MN first.

From a strictly marketing standpoint, MN would be a lot easier to do. Think - how easy would it be to market a "Prequel to Narnia?" But "Sequel to VDT?" - with only one reoccurring character? (that's Eustace) They already had a hard enough time tying VDT in with PC - in fact they were trying to tie it in more with LWW by bringing back the witch (who had hardly no screen time at all) and playing up a lot of themes that didn't actually come into the movie.

Alright, so if you've made it through all that I think you really deserve a prize. I tried to make it more bearable by putting lots of nice pictures in.

In other news, VDT comes out on DVD APRIL 8TH!!!! (check the cool widget on the sidebar!) That's right. If you haven't seen it, you need to. The DVD cover (for once) is uh-mazing and it's PURPLE, and it's got tons of awesome bonus features on it. While the cropping/photoshopping wasn't that good, at least they improved the placement/coloring. It's only flaw is the lack of Caspian on the cover - and the witch in his place. >.<

As for what comes next in the Narnia films...who knows? It's nothing like Harry Potter, Twilight, or Indiana Jones, where the production is secured, and the characters are always the same. But that, I believe, is what makes it unique. Lewis made each book a stand-alone book, yet they all tie beautifully into each other. There's a reason their called the chronicles of Narnia. But the key to making these films a success is not the marketing, but the adaptation - taking the core, important themes found in the books and translating them on the screen.

*Test*

Ignore this, people. :P

Because I'm just weird like that.

This morning is definitely on my list of weirdest mornings. Or maybe just most abnormal.

I got up at 5:30 this morning (::gasp::) and cleaned my room in the dark. That’s right, the dark. Because I didn’t want my bedroom light to wake anyone up. I’m a ninja like that.

Then I took like a superfast shower, and by then it was late enough to turn my lights on. I then proceeded to do geometry in under 45 minutes. (Like I said, I’m a ninja.) Then I read like 3 chapters of my literature book (The Red Badge of Courage…it’s…an interesting book. I sort of like it…kinda.)

I was really hungry after all that (this ninja thing isn’t easy, you know) so I went into the kitchen, put like an extremely large pile of dishes away, (really quietly, like a ninja, you know.) and tried to find something to eat….with no avail. And there was like, less than ½ a cup of milk left. So I warmed it up, and had about ½ a cup of hot chocolate, mixed with a little rice milk. It tasted funny.

I also discovered that we had chocolate covered ginger cubes, which is probably totally whacko to some of you, but proved to be an immense source of happiness for me….

Then I went back and did physics for an hour, and almost completely finished this week’s homework. I also spent a great deal of this time reading all the problems aloud to myself in a cross between a Russian and Malaysian accent.

Then I did my economics homework.

Then I was informed that we had waffles. (I had apparently neglected to check the freezer in my previous quest for edible goods) So, (being like really hungry at this point) I had two of those, but I’m not a huge fan of them, especially wheat bran waffles. So I made myself two eggs. And since I was still hungry, I ate this gigantic banana. Like, the size of my head. And being still hungry, I ate potato chips. And since I was still hungry, I ate ice cream. Nom.

Mmhm. I think I have a life record here. I’ve never had ice cream for breakfast.

And now it’s 10:40, I have half my schoolwork done, and I’m still like, really, really hungry.

I suppose I’d better get back on that economics homework. Hopefully you found this post a mild source of amusement, because it’s not often that I take the time to detail to the public view the in-depth events of my life. More evidence of the abnormality of this morning, I suppose. 8)

Nerd Power.

Happy Pi Day!! That's right, today's date is March 14th, otherwise known as 3.14

Mmhm.

(photo courtesy of google images)

(photo courtesy of my awesome webcam :P )

Guess what else? Blogger has this nifty feature that let's you change the post time. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't do this, but it *has* to be posted at 3:14.

And because I hate making more than one post in a day, go read the one below, because it's really cute. :P

How do eskimos do their hair?

>is arranging hair in emo fashion<
Me: Mom, does this look emo?
Mom: It looks...um... (*no comment*)
Me: >laughs and goes back to mirror<
John-Luke: >following behind< What's emo?
Me: Uh...it's like a style, sort of.
John-Luke: I thought those were the guys who were like fluff around their hoods with sunglasses and live in the snow.
Me: What? OH! No, that's an eskimo.

I'm like....so completely in love with my little baby brother..... (:

PS - I am also not emo in any way shape or form. I just recently discovered that by pushing all my bangs to the opposite side, I achieve an emo-like hairstyle, which greatly amused me.

No fear. No retreat.

I can't even begin to describe how amazing this song is, and how much it has impacted me in the last....20 hours that I've known it's existence?



To give unselfishly
to serve the least of these
Jesus I'm learning how to live with open hands
All these treasures that I own
will never satisfy my soul
Jesus I lay them at your throne with open hands

I hold onto so much in this life - but it will never, ever fully satisfy me. Earth has nothing I desire but Christ. [Ps. 73:25]

I lift my hands open wide
let the whole world see
how you love, how you died, how you set me free
free at last, I surrender all I am with open hands, with open hands

God is slowly teaching me that I have absolutely no value outside of who I am in Him. I have no reason for existing besides to glorify Him. Nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing is worth doing if it's not to show what Christ has done for me.

I was reading in my devotional the other day, and it was talking about how, when we're in love with someone - we go pretty out of our way to show it. We buy them things, spend time with them, do things for them. And we talk about them to like, everyone. But do we show that same love to God? Are we so in love with Him that we can't stop talking, thinking, and ordering every aspect of our life to Him?

To finally let go of my plans
these earthly kingdoms built of sand
Jesus at your cross I stand with open hands

Let go of my plans. GAH. Why is that so hard?

You took the nails, You bore the crown
You hung your head, Your love poured out
You took my place, You paid the price
so Jesus now I will give my life

Jesus, I give you my life. Do you know that means my life?! Like, all of it? Like, every single aspect, nitpicky detail of it? From what I eat to where I live to how I live to the thoughts I think?

Francis Chan, the author of the book Crazy Love, recently preached this sermon - his last at this church - and it is so, so powerful.

"There are no cowards in heaven"



Forsaking all. Abandoning all. Giving up everything, surrendering it all for the one who can fill me completely: Christ.

He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. ~Jim Elliot

Earth has nothing I desire besides You.

Jesus, You are strength in my weakness. The refuge I seek. Everything in my time of need. All I need.

[Psalm 73:25]