"I do dare to live a life of extravagant happiness. I will love so fiercely, live so much gladness, that everyone will think that it isn’t fair.
But I will cherish this happiness, and not guilt myself into giving it up because other people don’t have it. No, instead I will find ways to make that happiness for other people, pouring it into every corner that I visit, fearlessly showing my loved ones that I care, allowing my sympathies to be stricken into helping my fellow men with everything inside of me.
But I will not give up my high ground, and sink into despondency. The world needs a higher ratio of happiness to depression, and I will be among the happy. Just my very joyful presence will lighten the load of the overburdened, terrible, broken world.
I do dare to live a life of extravagant happiness."
--Gray
Monday, December 26
Sunday, December 25
My favorite part of Christmas.
Is still coming to the front of the balcony during Christmas Eve service and watching the flickering candlelight slowly fill the room.
In the past, I've always mourned the un-importance of my single candle flame. I'm just one light in a room full of thousands of lights, how could I possibly be important? I'm just one person in a world with billions of people, how could I ever be significant? Nobody would know if my flame just ceased to exist.
But today as I knelt there at the edge of the balcony, holding my single candle flame, I realized how beautiful it is that I am part of this world, and how precious my one life is.
I may be one single light, but that light is precious. Today I realized that who I am doesn't have to be someone who's wildly unique, original, decisive, and sure. I don't have to spend all my effort trying to make myself -- or even discover myself -- into someone who's "unique" or "set apart."
I am a part of this world. I am one light in a sea of little lights, and it's okay.
A lot of my Christian upbringing has included a large dose of the "you are unique and special" message. And while I don't deny that, I think it has a tendency to make us (or at least me) feel as if I must be better and more special than everyone else in the world.
But -- and I'm going to link you up to this post again because that's how good it is --
There is power in being common.
"If I am...a wise person-- I will seek to understand the things that all men share inside of themselves, instead of the things that set them apart from each other. Why was my self-value wrapped up in the ways that I perceive myself differing from other men?" (Gray)
This little light of mine is wild and precious. It can start fires. It's just the same as everyone else's -- but it's mine. It was lit by my Creator. And I'm going to live it, love it, and let it shine.
In the past, I've always mourned the un-importance of my single candle flame. I'm just one light in a room full of thousands of lights, how could I possibly be important? I'm just one person in a world with billions of people, how could I ever be significant? Nobody would know if my flame just ceased to exist.
But today as I knelt there at the edge of the balcony, holding my single candle flame, I realized how beautiful it is that I am part of this world, and how precious my one life is.
I may be one single light, but that light is precious. Today I realized that who I am doesn't have to be someone who's wildly unique, original, decisive, and sure. I don't have to spend all my effort trying to make myself -- or even discover myself -- into someone who's "unique" or "set apart."
I am a part of this world. I am one light in a sea of little lights, and it's okay.
A lot of my Christian upbringing has included a large dose of the "you are unique and special" message. And while I don't deny that, I think it has a tendency to make us (or at least me) feel as if I must be better and more special than everyone else in the world.
But -- and I'm going to link you up to this post again because that's how good it is --
There is power in being common.
"If I am...a wise person-- I will seek to understand the things that all men share inside of themselves, instead of the things that set them apart from each other. Why was my self-value wrapped up in the ways that I perceive myself differing from other men?" (Gray)
This little light of mine is wild and precious. It can start fires. It's just the same as everyone else's -- but it's mine. It was lit by my Creator. And I'm going to live it, love it, and let it shine.
Friday, December 23
Thursday, December 22
Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.
— Norton Juster
Tuesday, December 20
Alright, here's another song from Taylor Swift. Again. Sorry, I couldn't resist. I really couldn't. It's just too cute.
Best of all, it's unique, and original. There's no break in the story for singing, or any face-melting-stage-dancing or anything like that. It's like she's human, for once.
ALSO THERE IS AN ASIAN MAN WITH A BANANA.
Best of all, it's unique, and original. There's no break in the story for singing, or any face-melting-stage-dancing or anything like that. It's like she's human, for once.
ALSO THERE IS AN ASIAN MAN WITH A BANANA.
Sunday, December 18
"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."
Nothing to cheer your day up like a good 'ol reminder of what you've got.
It is a wonderful life.
I love this movie.
It is a wonderful life.
I love this movie.
Saturday, December 17
Sin is okay.
I've been beating up on myself a lot recently. Call it perfectionist, call it over-controlling, call it self-righteous...whatever. But when I see a problem, it bothers me.
Honestly, it's a wonder to me that people love me at all when my own love is so distorted. When my view is so dirtied by this fateful curse of sin.
But I wonder if Christians play it up too much. We spend so much time indoctrinating our children on what is right and what is wrong and what ought and ought not to be. We tell them what mindsets are correct, what things are lies of the devil, and that anything contrary to what they are teaching is a falsehood and should be rejected immediately.
We do this so much that when these children grow up and enter the real world, they don't know what to do with it. False love, pride, lust, homosexuality, beauty, acceptance -- it shows up in all ways, shapes, and forms in our lives -- ways far deeper, dirtier, and more terrible than anything they ever taught us in Sunday school. Yes, there are worse things than hitting your brother.
And what have we been taught? That sin in any form is not okay.
But I'm starting to think that....that it is okay.
Oh heavens come crashing down, what am I saying?
No, really. We're taught to reject sin so much that when we discover a new form of it taking shape in our lives that we've never experienced before, we don't know how to deal with it. We've been taught that it's only the really messed up people who think this way. Only the people who are completely lost.
And we're not lost like that, no sir, we have Christ on our side.
We, in fact, are the broken, lost people that we they warned us about in Sunday school -- and when we discover this, it shocks us. How could we be like this when we're supposed to be something greater than this?
So we push it down. Shove it back. Place it in a corner. We're stronger than this.
But we're afraid to be broken. I'm afraid to be broken. I'm afraid to be sinful, because...well, I'm a Christian, so aren't I supposed to be cured of that?
Like any other perfectly homeschooled, Christian kid, I went to VBS every year. Actually I went to about 3 or 4 every year. And I always heard the same thing -- which was really just a condensed version of what I was taught in Sunday school:
When we're saved, that doesn't mean that we stop doing bad things. It means that Jesus now helps us not do bad things.
So perhaps because I feel that because Jesus is not doing anything to "help me not do bad things" that I must be screwed up in some way.
But I'm a Christian. I'm not supposed to be this way.
So I encounter problems. I realize I'm more broken than just "disobeying my parents" or "being mean to my brother." My heart is deceitful, and desperately wicked. I've been taught for years that this - these problems, this brokenness - it's wrong. But I've also been taught that because "every sin past present and future" has been forgiven and that "Jesus helps me not do bad things" that all of these problems I have should be either nonexistent or easy to fix "because I have Jesus."
So I shy away from being broken. From admitting I have a problem. From being brutally honest and real. From finding out who I really am. Even from accepting the brokenness of others.
Oh, they struggle with that? They must not have Jesus. They don't have hope like I do.
(I've always been told I had hope in Jesus. But when does that teaching cease to be a piece of knowledge you must memorize and start to become a truth that you cherish?)
But I'm starting to realize that it's okay. It's okay to be broken. It's okay to be sinful. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to be confused. And it's okay for other people to be that way, too.
You see....we're not God. We're not perfect, and we can never be perfect. We have no business rejecting brokenness and sin when we're living in it. Call me crazy, but yeah, it's taking me awhile to understand this.
Yeah, sin is still wrong.
But it's okay to mess up. It's okay to fail. It's okay to have no clue about anything.
Maybe that's what Jesus sacrifice was supposed to be about.
And maybe....just maybe, because of this radical sacrifice, God is okay with my brokenness, too.
What do you think?
Honestly, it's a wonder to me that people love me at all when my own love is so distorted. When my view is so dirtied by this fateful curse of sin.
But I wonder if Christians play it up too much. We spend so much time indoctrinating our children on what is right and what is wrong and what ought and ought not to be. We tell them what mindsets are correct, what things are lies of the devil, and that anything contrary to what they are teaching is a falsehood and should be rejected immediately.
We do this so much that when these children grow up and enter the real world, they don't know what to do with it. False love, pride, lust, homosexuality, beauty, acceptance -- it shows up in all ways, shapes, and forms in our lives -- ways far deeper, dirtier, and more terrible than anything they ever taught us in Sunday school. Yes, there are worse things than hitting your brother.
And what have we been taught? That sin in any form is not okay.
But I'm starting to think that....that it is okay.
Oh heavens come crashing down, what am I saying?
No, really. We're taught to reject sin so much that when we discover a new form of it taking shape in our lives that we've never experienced before, we don't know how to deal with it. We've been taught that it's only the really messed up people who think this way. Only the people who are completely lost.
And we're not lost like that, no sir, we have Christ on our side.
We, in fact, are the broken, lost people that we they warned us about in Sunday school -- and when we discover this, it shocks us. How could we be like this when we're supposed to be something greater than this?
So we push it down. Shove it back. Place it in a corner. We're stronger than this.
But we're afraid to be broken. I'm afraid to be broken. I'm afraid to be sinful, because...well, I'm a Christian, so aren't I supposed to be cured of that?
Like any other perfectly homeschooled, Christian kid, I went to VBS every year. Actually I went to about 3 or 4 every year. And I always heard the same thing -- which was really just a condensed version of what I was taught in Sunday school:
When we're saved, that doesn't mean that we stop doing bad things. It means that Jesus now helps us not do bad things.
So perhaps because I feel that because Jesus is not doing anything to "help me not do bad things" that I must be screwed up in some way.
But I'm a Christian. I'm not supposed to be this way.
So I encounter problems. I realize I'm more broken than just "disobeying my parents" or "being mean to my brother." My heart is deceitful, and desperately wicked. I've been taught for years that this - these problems, this brokenness - it's wrong. But I've also been taught that because "every sin past present and future" has been forgiven and that "Jesus helps me not do bad things" that all of these problems I have should be either nonexistent or easy to fix "because I have Jesus."
So I shy away from being broken. From admitting I have a problem. From being brutally honest and real. From finding out who I really am. Even from accepting the brokenness of others.
Oh, they struggle with that? They must not have Jesus. They don't have hope like I do.
(I've always been told I had hope in Jesus. But when does that teaching cease to be a piece of knowledge you must memorize and start to become a truth that you cherish?)
But I'm starting to realize that it's okay. It's okay to be broken. It's okay to be sinful. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to be confused. And it's okay for other people to be that way, too.
You see....we're not God. We're not perfect, and we can never be perfect. We have no business rejecting brokenness and sin when we're living in it. Call me crazy, but yeah, it's taking me awhile to understand this.
Yeah, sin is still wrong.
But it's okay to mess up. It's okay to fail. It's okay to have no clue about anything.
Maybe that's what Jesus sacrifice was supposed to be about.
And maybe....just maybe, because of this radical sacrifice, God is okay with my brokenness, too.
What do you think?
Friday, December 16
Christmas is finally here.
Despite the fact that I'm one of those Christmas-begins-the-second-thanksgiving-is-over-or-sometimes-earlier kind of person, I persuaded my brother to try an experiment with me this year.
Objective: See how long we can go without putting up the Christmas tree.
Our theory? Parents only do this for their kids. Once we're old enough to reach the top of the thing, if the kids don't take initiative, it won't happen.
Our prediction: We'd make it to Christmas eve before they noticed the tree wasn't up.
However, this process nearly killed us, and we finally just went up to the attic, drug the tree down, and put it up.
And now, it can really be Christmas.
Objective: See how long we can go without putting up the Christmas tree.
Our theory? Parents only do this for their kids. Once we're old enough to reach the top of the thing, if the kids don't take initiative, it won't happen.
Our prediction: We'd make it to Christmas eve before they noticed the tree wasn't up.
However, this process nearly killed us, and we finally just went up to the attic, drug the tree down, and put it up.
And now, it can really be Christmas.
Wednesday, December 14
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." —Gilda Radner
Tuesday, December 13
I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.
— Shauna Niequist
Saturday, December 10
I'm going to live.
I was thinking about my life today (something I do rather frequently) and realizing that I really don't think I'm putting a whole lot of effort into living.
It's just...mediocre.
I give halfhearted little glances at everything because I'm not sure what I want to be "my thing." You know?
For years I've wanted to find what my passion was and throw myself into it wholeheartedly.
But maybe....maybe I don't have one. Maybe I don't have just one calling. Besides, what's to stop me from doing everything that I do passionately and wholeheartedly? I don't have to just do one thing.
One of my first impromptu topics was a completely weird quote that went: "If you bite off more than you can chew, chew it." I talked, in a rather jumbled fashion, about how sometimes I end up doing too much stuff and over committing myself, but I have to chew it anyway.
But I've started to realize that I'm shying away from "chewing" what I've got. I'm afraid of throwing myself into everything I do because I'm afraid of what I might lose.
I'm afraid to enjoy life because I'm afraid those joys might be taken away.
But what's the alternative? Hiding in a corner and holding it all to myself? Never sharing, never loving, never learning?
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -CS Lewis.
I don't want to be irredeemable.
So here's my resolution.
Everything that I do -- speech, debate, piano, flute, guitar, music teaching, awana, quizzing, music theory, chinese, math, SAT, writing, reading, cleaning, organizing, sciences, history, playing with my dog, hanging with my brothers, doing the laundry, working on Aslan's Country, talking to my friends, -- everything -- I am going throw all of myself into.
I'm not going to shy away from creativity. I'm not going to worry about making the best or being the best. I'm just going to be.
And I'm going to give 101%. I'm going to seek the truth, and I'm going to find it. I'm going to be daring and adventurous. I'm going to do crazy things and laugh till my stomach hurts. I'm going to find what I love about my life and I'm going to do it over and over again. I'm going to discover what it is that makes me me.
I'm not going to be idle. I'm not going to be mediocre. I'm not going to be afraid of what I might lose, I'm just going to go for it.
I used to hate all those cliches - live, love, laugh. Follow your heart. Dreams can come true. Just believe. Be yourself.
But I'm starting to love what is normal. It's okay to embrace what everyone else does sometimes. There's a reason everyone else loves it. I don't have to be anti-mainstream all the time. I don't have to be a world changer. As my dear friend Gray says, "there is power in being common."
So yes. I'm going to live, love, and laugh. I'm going to chase my dreams, and believe with everything in me.
I'm going to live.
It's just...mediocre.
I give halfhearted little glances at everything because I'm not sure what I want to be "my thing." You know?
For years I've wanted to find what my passion was and throw myself into it wholeheartedly.
But maybe....maybe I don't have one. Maybe I don't have just one calling. Besides, what's to stop me from doing everything that I do passionately and wholeheartedly? I don't have to just do one thing.
One of my first impromptu topics was a completely weird quote that went: "If you bite off more than you can chew, chew it." I talked, in a rather jumbled fashion, about how sometimes I end up doing too much stuff and over committing myself, but I have to chew it anyway.
But I've started to realize that I'm shying away from "chewing" what I've got. I'm afraid of throwing myself into everything I do because I'm afraid of what I might lose.
I'm afraid to enjoy life because I'm afraid those joys might be taken away.
But what's the alternative? Hiding in a corner and holding it all to myself? Never sharing, never loving, never learning?
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -CS Lewis.
I don't want to be irredeemable.
So here's my resolution.
Everything that I do -- speech, debate, piano, flute, guitar, music teaching, awana, quizzing, music theory, chinese, math, SAT, writing, reading, cleaning, organizing, sciences, history, playing with my dog, hanging with my brothers, doing the laundry, working on Aslan's Country, talking to my friends, -- everything -- I am going throw all of myself into.
I'm not going to shy away from creativity. I'm not going to worry about making the best or being the best. I'm just going to be.
And I'm going to give 101%. I'm going to seek the truth, and I'm going to find it. I'm going to be daring and adventurous. I'm going to do crazy things and laugh till my stomach hurts. I'm going to find what I love about my life and I'm going to do it over and over again. I'm going to discover what it is that makes me me.
I'm not going to be idle. I'm not going to be mediocre. I'm not going to be afraid of what I might lose, I'm just going to go for it.
I used to hate all those cliches - live, love, laugh. Follow your heart. Dreams can come true. Just believe. Be yourself.
But I'm starting to love what is normal. It's okay to embrace what everyone else does sometimes. There's a reason everyone else loves it. I don't have to be anti-mainstream all the time. I don't have to be a world changer. As my dear friend Gray says, "there is power in being common."
So yes. I'm going to live, love, and laugh. I'm going to chase my dreams, and believe with everything in me.
I'm going to live.
Wednesday, December 7
Oh yes.
CHRISTMAS BREAK IS HERE!!
That's right, I just finished my LAST FINAL of my first quarter at real school.
Happiness does not even describe. I also had a peppermint mocha to celebrate.
SAT studying, piano practicing, California debaters, speeches, actually blogging, awana quizzing, SLEEPING, Christmas shopping, hanging with my friends....BRING IT ON!
I feel like I can breathe now. I have time to read books. I can guiltlessly spend hours on the phone or run out with my friends. I don't have to worry about wasting time. I can spend an hour on debate without worrying about a single English paper that I should be doing. I can just chill with my little brother. Also, have I mentioned that my sister is coming home for Christmas??
I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
That's right, I just finished my LAST FINAL of my first quarter at real school.
Happiness does not even describe. I also had a peppermint mocha to celebrate.
SAT studying, piano practicing, California debaters, speeches, actually blogging, awana quizzing, SLEEPING, Christmas shopping, hanging with my friends....BRING IT ON!
I feel like I can breathe now. I have time to read books. I can guiltlessly spend hours on the phone or run out with my friends. I don't have to worry about wasting time. I can spend an hour on debate without worrying about a single English paper that I should be doing. I can just chill with my little brother. Also, have I mentioned that my sister is coming home for Christmas??
I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
Friday, December 2
Endeavors in Creativity.
This week and next week are finals weeks for me at school (which might explain the lack of blog posts...my mind has been completely consumed by....numerous other things).
However, as part of my Chinese final, we were instructed to come up with an oral presentation representing some of the things we had learned.
I, being the speech nerd that I am, decided that it would be fun to poke fun at the lessons (which include strangers meeting and asking each other out that day.) and turn it into a humorous interpretation.
The presence of a video will not so much as touch any social media, but here is my script (and it's translation, since google translate fails) for your enjoyment. Imagine overdramatized, romantic sighs and voices, if you please.
Mark: 你好。
Wenxin: 你好！
Mark: 我叫Mark。 你呢？
Wenxin: 我叫王文欣。 你是美国人马？
Mark: 不是。 我是加拿大人。
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: 你是中国人吗？
Wenxin: (nods) 我是上海人。 你喜欢上海吗？
Mark: 上海很美。 我喜欢上海。
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: 你去哪里？
Wenxin: 我去上海东路。
Mark: 太巧了！ 我也去上海东路！
Wenxin: (giggle)
Mark: 上海厨房在上海东路！
Wenxin: 為什麼？
Mark: 我想请你吃饭。
Wenxin: 现在吗？
Mark: 对。
Wenxin: (sigh) 是的！
Mark: 好。(dials phone)
Wenxin: (sigh)
Waiter：喂， 您好， 这 里是上海 厨 房。
Mark: 喂， 你好。 我想预订座位。
Waiter: 午餐 还是 晚餐？
Mark: 午餐。
Waiter: 好的。 请问－
Mark: 啊！不要了。 我要晚餐。
Waiter: 午餐？
Mark: 对。
Waiter: 好的。 请问， 你们几位？
Mark: 三十六 位。
啊呀！ 三十六位吗？！
Mark: 啊?! 不对！ 两位。
Waiter: 你们要包房吗？
Mark: ｍｍｍ。。。我要，谢谢。
Waiter: 请问，您贵姓？
Mark: 我姓Smith。
Waiter: 好。谢谢。 再见！
(at restaurant)
Mark: 文欣，你很美。
Wenxin: (giggle) 谢谢你！
Mark: 文欣， 我爱你。你愿意嫁给我吗？
Wenxin: (gasp) 啊！ Mark! 我爱你！ 我会嫁给你！
Mark: Hey.
Wenxin: oh! hello!
Mark: My name is Mark. ::prince charming grin:: And you?
Wenxin: My name is Wenxin. Are you...from America?
Mark: Oh no -- I'm from CANADA.
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: Are you from China?
Wenxin: Yes -- I'm from Shanghai. Do...do you like Shanghai?
Mark: Shanghai is very beautiful. I like Shanghai. ;)
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: Where are you going to?
Wenxin: I'm going to Shanghai East Road.
Mark: What a coincidence! I'm going to Shanghai East Road.
Wenxin: (giggle)
Mark: Ah! Shanghai Kitchen is on Shanghai East Road!
Wenxin: Why?
Mark: I would like to ask you out to dinner.
Wenxin: Now?
Mark: Yes.
Wenxin: (sigh) oh, yes!
Mark: Good. (dials phone)
Wenxin: (sigh)
Waiter：Hello. This is the Shanghai Kitchen.
Mark: Hello. I would like to reserve a seat.
Waiter: Lunch or dinner?
Mark: Lunch.
Waiter: Okay. Please may I--
Mark: Ah! No. I want dinner.
Waiter: Dinner?
Mark: Yes.
Waiter: Okay. Please may I ask, how many people?
Mark: ::lovesick:: Hhhmmm?
Waiter: ::ahem:: I said, how many people?
Mark: uuhhh....um, thirty six?
Waiter: What? 36?!
Mark: Ah! No, no, no. Two people.
Waiter: Do you want a private room?
Mark: mmm....yes, I do. (looks lovingly to Wenxin)
Waiter: Please, what is your surname?
Mark: My last name is Smith.
Waiter: Good. Thank you, goodbye.
(at restaurant)
Mark: Wenxin, you are so beautiful.
Wenxin: (giggle) aww...thank you!
Mark: Wenxin. I love you. Will you marry me??
Wenxin: (gasp) Mark! I love you too! I will marry you!
Needless to say, my class seemed to enjoy it, and I had fun giving it.
再见！
However, as part of my Chinese final, we were instructed to come up with an oral presentation representing some of the things we had learned.
I, being the speech nerd that I am, decided that it would be fun to poke fun at the lessons (which include strangers meeting and asking each other out that day.) and turn it into a humorous interpretation.
The presence of a video will not so much as touch any social media, but here is my script (and it's translation, since google translate fails) for your enjoyment. Imagine overdramatized, romantic sighs and voices, if you please.
Mark: 你好。
Wenxin: 你好！
Mark: 我叫Mark。 你呢？
Wenxin: 我叫王文欣。 你是美国人马？
Mark: 不是。 我是加拿大人。
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: 你是中国人吗？
Wenxin: (nods) 我是上海人。 你喜欢上海吗？
Mark: 上海很美。 我喜欢上海。
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: 你去哪里？
Wenxin: 我去上海东路。
Mark: 太巧了！ 我也去上海东路！
Wenxin: (giggle)
Mark: 上海厨房在上海东路！
Wenxin: 為什麼？
Mark: 我想请你吃饭。
Wenxin: 现在吗？
Mark: 对。
Wenxin: (sigh) 是的！
Mark: 好。(dials phone)
Wenxin: (sigh)
Waiter：喂， 您好， 这 里是上海 厨 房。
Mark: 喂， 你好。 我想预订座位。
Waiter: 午餐 还是 晚餐？
Mark: 午餐。
Waiter: 好的。 请问－
Mark: 啊！不要了。 我要晚餐。
Waiter: 午餐？
Mark: 对。
Waiter: 好的。 请问， 你们几位？
Mark: 三十六 位。
啊呀！ 三十六位吗？！
Mark: 啊?! 不对！ 两位。
Waiter: 你们要包房吗？
Mark: ｍｍｍ。。。我要，谢谢。
Waiter: 请问，您贵姓？
Mark: 我姓Smith。
Waiter: 好。谢谢。 再见！
(at restaurant)
Mark: 文欣，你很美。
Wenxin: (giggle) 谢谢你！
Mark: 文欣， 我爱你。你愿意嫁给我吗？
Wenxin: (gasp) 啊！ Mark! 我爱你！ 我会嫁给你！
Mark: Hey.
Wenxin: oh! hello!
Mark: My name is Mark. ::prince charming grin:: And you?
Wenxin: My name is Wenxin. Are you...from America?
Mark: Oh no -- I'm from CANADA.
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: Are you from China?
Wenxin: Yes -- I'm from Shanghai. Do...do you like Shanghai?
Mark: Shanghai is very beautiful. I like Shanghai. ;)
Wenxin: (sigh)
Mark: Where are you going to?
Wenxin: I'm going to Shanghai East Road.
Mark: What a coincidence! I'm going to Shanghai East Road.
Wenxin: (giggle)
Mark: Ah! Shanghai Kitchen is on Shanghai East Road!
Wenxin: Why?
Mark: I would like to ask you out to dinner.
Wenxin: Now?
Mark: Yes.
Wenxin: (sigh) oh, yes!
Mark: Good. (dials phone)
Wenxin: (sigh)
Waiter：Hello. This is the Shanghai Kitchen.
Mark: Hello. I would like to reserve a seat.
Waiter: Lunch or dinner?
Mark: Lunch.
Waiter: Okay. Please may I--
Mark: Ah! No. I want dinner.
Waiter: Dinner?
Mark: Yes.
Waiter: Okay. Please may I ask, how many people?
Mark: ::lovesick:: Hhhmmm?
Waiter: ::ahem:: I said, how many people?
Mark: uuhhh....um, thirty six?
Waiter: What? 36?!
Mark: Ah! No, no, no. Two people.
Waiter: Do you want a private room?
Mark: mmm....yes, I do. (looks lovingly to Wenxin)
Waiter: Please, what is your surname?
Mark: My last name is Smith.
Waiter: Good. Thank you, goodbye.
(at restaurant)
Mark: Wenxin, you are so beautiful.
Wenxin: (giggle) aww...thank you!
Mark: Wenxin. I love you. Will you marry me??
Wenxin: (gasp) Mark! I love you too! I will marry you!
Needless to say, my class seemed to enjoy it, and I had fun giving it.
再见！
Monday, November 28
Friday, November 25
Mmm....this movie seriously just makes me so happy. I finally watched it again with my brother (who, might I add, should be commended for his ability to restrain criticism during the whole thing) and completely fell in love with it all over again.
Tuesday, November 22
Knights of the round table - literally.
L: Today in school, we were learning about circumference.
Me: Is that so?
L: Yeah, and I was so confused because I thought circumference was a person.
Me: >pretends to understand< Haha, really?
L: Yeah cause you know, "Sir Cumference."
Best. Student. Ever.
Me: Is that so?
L: Yeah, and I was so confused because I thought circumference was a person.
Me: >pretends to understand< Haha, really?
L: Yeah cause you know, "Sir Cumference."
Best. Student. Ever.
Friday, November 18
Stay this little.
Do you ever just sit and watch the world go by?I do that a lot. In the car going somewhere...on a plane...walking through campus...gazing out over the valley. I watch kids walk home from school, I watch my classmates, I watch the lovebirds in the corner of the room.
And the other day I was sitting in the glorious sunshine, looking over the valley.
We live close to the airport, which means 1) we get a lot of noise in the summer time and 2) we get to watch planes land and takeoff pretty much whenever we jolly well please. (this was great fun as a child)
I followed the progress of one particular airplane as it took off.
As someone who flies on a semi-frequent-ish-basis (enough to remind me how much I love it, little enough to keep me wanting to keep doing it) I love that feeling as the airplane finally begins to pick up speed.
Each step in the process of going to the airport seems to take you one step closer, from waking up at 5 in the morning to actually leaving the house with half of your world toted behind you, to that heart-thumping moment when you leave the security of those dropping you off behind as you walk away from the car.
You're thinking this is really it. Whatever it is that you've been waiting for for ages has finally come.
It like, triples when you board the plane, and then comes to a screeching halt when you start to taxi.
Forever.
And you wonder, will it ever takeoff? I could be sleeping right now.
I chew my gum nervously, worrying that the flavour will run out before we takeoff and I need it in the first place.
But it comes, you know it always will.
That moment when the airplane lurches a little and you know it's finally time.
It picks up speed, it goes faster, and faster, and faster, and just when you think you might run out of runway space, it gently lumps into the air. I say "lump" because it's like going over a speedbump with a pillow on it.
Your heart does this weird ker-thump thing, your ears go all funny, and your stomach does what it does in an elevator, except about 2.4 times more.
And if you're heading to a National speech & debate tournament, it does it about 11.9 times more.
So as I sat there, watching this airplane take off into the sky, I wondered what the people on the plane were thinking.
Were they all businessmen who were just flying because they had to, lost in the busyness of their iwhatevers and computers and papers, or who sleep right through the thrill of taking off?
Or could there be a young person on there, her heart beating with the excitement of a new place
she was going, her stomach turning with the idea of what would be expected of her when she got there?What did my world look like to them up there? I could see them, but they couldn't see me.
I was living that experience in my head as the
plane made it's way slowly towards the edge of the valley and then began to turn towards the east.
Thank you for flying Delta Airlines, we are now [insert number I never do comprehend] miles above Seattle, heading east towards Boston. Our flight attendants will be coming around shortly with refreshments. Meals are available for purchase upon request.
I watched the plane pass through a cloud.
I know what it's like to go through a cloud on a plane. The world is a tiny maze of dollhouses and then all of a sudden, there's a little fog covering it all.
I wonder if there's a child on that plane, nose pressed to the window, staring excitedly at everything that's going by.I wonder if maybe someone is not traveling somewhere new, but somewhere old. Maybe he's going home after a long, fulfilling trip. I hope he enjoyed my favorite city.
The plane turns to the east, and eventually disappears behind the trees.
East.
There are a lot of places you can go when you turn east. That's a lot of states you could fly to.
I never want to lose my love for flying in a plane. To feel that magic, thrill, and anticipation.
There are some parts of life I have to grow up in...but when I fly, I'll always be a child.
Wednesday, November 16
Mhm, that's right Seattle.
Guess what?
Tenth Avenue North is coming to Seattle again!
March 3rd, everyone, guess where I'll be?
...Because I know you wanted to know that bit of information. ;)
Tenth Avenue North is coming to Seattle again!
March 3rd, everyone, guess where I'll be?
Tuesday, November 15
Monday, November 14
Sunday, November 13
I want my soul wide awake.
I want to sail
Into the sunrise
Right to the edge of the new
Way beyond me, out ‘cross the sea
Into a beautiful truth
A journey awaits
Incredible stories
I’ll live to tell you the tales
I want to know.
I want to go.
I want to sail.
Right through waves of my fear
Out where the waters run clear
I want to sail.
Tell me, what spell must I break?
I want my soul wide awake.
Into the sunrise
Right to the edge of the new
Way beyond me, out ‘cross the sea
Into a beautiful truth
A journey awaits
Incredible stories
I’ll live to tell you the tales
I want to know.
I want to go.
I want to sail.
Right through waves of my fear
Out where the waters run clear
I want to sail.
Tell me, what spell must I break?
I want my soul wide awake.
Thursday, November 10
of green beans and pioneers.
This year I've been teaching piano, working in awana, and babysitting on a regular basis, which means I've gotten a lot of awesome kid quotes. Here are some of my favorites from this week...
Me: If you have three notes altogether, it's a 3rd. What do you think it is when you have 2 notes together?
K: Um...a twoth?
......
Me: Who knows what a hymnal is?
B: It's a book they sang out of in like, the pioneer days.
......
Ruby: I'm a baby goose. You're the momma goose.
Me: Ruby, can you stand up?
Ruby: No say baby goose.
Me: Stand up, baby goose!
>obligingly stands up<
......
Me: Hey guys, if you eat your green beans, it will make me really, really happy.
>Ruby immediately eats like 5 beans<
Ruby: Did I make you happy?
Me: If you have three notes altogether, it's a 3rd. What do you think it is when you have 2 notes together?
K: Um...a twoth?
......
Me: Who knows what a hymnal is?
B: It's a book they sang out of in like, the pioneer days.
......
Ruby: I'm a baby goose. You're the momma goose.
Me: Ruby, can you stand up?
Ruby: No say baby goose.
Me: Stand up, baby goose!
>obligingly stands up<
......
Me: Hey guys, if you eat your green beans, it will make me really, really happy.
>Ruby immediately eats like 5 beans<
Ruby: Did I make you happy?
Tuesday, November 8
Normal is wonderful.
People ask me what my favorite season is, and usually I tell them summer.
This is partially false because a Seattlite's definition of summer is similar to that of late spring in Washington DC.
Everyone I meet seems to favour the season in which they were born, and I've always felt slightly odd for not liking fall...seeing as that is when my birthday falls.
But fall in Seattle, you see, is typically nothing but freezing cold temperatures with endless rain and cloudy skies.
You can't crunch through leaves because they're soggy, the air is not as crisp because of the overcast cloudy-ness, and it's just generally not as pleasant. Being one who dislikes the cumbersome nature of umbrellas, I typically get rather wet during this season, as well as end up with my glasses all spotted with water. >.<
But this year, I am discovering how much I really do love the fall. You see, we've been having a decent fall. A normal fall. The sun has been out, the leaves are crunchy, the air is crisp.
I don't have to wear a 20-pound coat and line my feet with socks. I can dance through the leaves with my sweater. I can take deep, full breaths of beautiful fall air.
I can run through the park with my dog, and sit in the sunshine to soak it all in.
I love fall.
This is partially false because a Seattlite's definition of summer is similar to that of late spring in Washington DC.
Everyone I meet seems to favour the season in which they were born, and I've always felt slightly odd for not liking fall...seeing as that is when my birthday falls.
But fall in Seattle, you see, is typically nothing but freezing cold temperatures with endless rain and cloudy skies.
You can't crunch through leaves because they're soggy, the air is not as crisp because of the overcast cloudy-ness, and it's just generally not as pleasant. Being one who dislikes the cumbersome nature of umbrellas, I typically get rather wet during this season, as well as end up with my glasses all spotted with water. >.<
But this year, I am discovering how much I really do love the fall. You see, we've been having a decent fall. A normal fall. The sun has been out, the leaves are crunchy, the air is crisp.
I don't have to wear a 20-pound coat and line my feet with socks. I can dance through the leaves with my sweater. I can take deep, full breaths of beautiful fall air.
I can run through the park with my dog, and sit in the sunshine to soak it all in.
I love fall.
If we could analyze the influences that build up a godly character to maturity, we might well find that the agencies which we call natural vastly outweigh the supernatural. The book of Proverbs reassures us that this, if it is true, is no reflection on the efficacy of God's grace, for the hard facts of life, which knock some of the nonsense out of us, are God's facts and His appointed school of character; they are not alternatives to his grace, but means of it; for everything is of grace, from the power to know to the power to obey. -Derek Kidner
On that note of procrastinating - how often do I procrastinate or make excuses by saying I'm busy with something else? (read that post. It's good.)
Oh, what could I be missing because tell my little brother that I'm "too busy?"
Oh, what could I be missing because tell my little brother that I'm "too busy?"
Monday, November 7
Saturday, November 5
Tomorrow I'll stop procrastinating.
When I was little, I used to try to have "perfect" days. I would try to be good for the entire day.It never worked. =P
So, at the end of the day, I always said to myself, "I'll try again tomorrow. I'll really do it this time."
And as I got older, I somehow kept that mentality. The idea that one day, it would suddenly happen - BOOM - I'd have life figured out.
Lately I've been frustrated with the fact that...I'm no different than I was 10 years ago. I still say "tomorrow I'll be different. Tomorrow I'll actually not check my email and I'll actually practice piano instead."
::snort::
I have a feeling I'd be a much better pianist if I'd ever actually put that idea into practice. (haaa see that clever use of a pun there? I actually didn't intend that.)
But really - I would say to myself as I went to bed "ugh! I failed again. But I won't fail tomorrow."
Isn't "tomorrow I'll stop procrastinating" an oxymoron?
As your stereotypical homeschooler saturated by the message of the Rebelution, I've had the idea that if I didn't do great things as a teenager, I've somehow wasted my entire life. I frowned upon my 18th birthday and felt as if my opportunities had all been taken away now that the number associated with my years of living is one higher than it was a month ago.
But the reality is - I will never have more time than I do right now.
I'm only going to be 18 once. Just for 365 days. Why ruin it by wishing it was something else?
Maybe tomorrow I'll start over
Maybe tomorrow I will finally change my ways
Said the same things yesterday
Don't know why I'm so afraid
To let you in
To let you win
To let you have all of me
Can't spend my whole life wastin'
Everything I know I've been given
'Cause you've made for so much more than
Sittin' on the side lines
I don't wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could've been better
Everyday's a day to start over
So, why am I waiting for tomorrow?
I don't want to look back and wonder if my "good enough" could have been better. I want to live life to the fullest, and not waste my time worrying about wasting my life. I'm going to get out there, do something, and live! And I'm going to do it today.
Wednesday, November 2
It's revolutionary, and it will change the world.
Lately, I've been looking at this overwhelming problem of the world I live in.
Going through a typical week, with all the people I encounter and all the experiences I have, I keep seeing the brokenness of the world.
The homeless man on the street. That girl sitting all by herself at lunch. Those 10 year olds in awana who don't understand who God is. Those news stories about murders. Discussing politics. Working to keep up with my school work. Trying to learn more about the world.
My head spins thinking of how many problems there are in the world, how many people need help - and I want to do something about it.
I want to change the world, and I want to make a difference for the kingdom of God. I want to be radical, crazy, different, a world-changer.
But the other day, I heard this (ridiculously simple) statement:
You don't have to solve the world's problems.
Huh?
Oh right, I'm not God.
But I was also reminded of this story:
One day, a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?"
The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die."
"Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!"
After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf.
Then, smiling at the man, he said, "I made a difference for that one."
A lot of times I'm overwhelmed with all the things there are to do. How do I know what I'm supposed to do, and how am I supposed to make a difference?
Unlike some of my friends, who have been called off to places like Argentina, Peru, Russia, and China -- or even to direct Awana, minister to youth, serve in church -- I'm not really sure what I'm called to do, or how exactly I can make a difference.
But there are places I can make a difference right here.
I can watch that lego movie with my little brother.
I can help my brother with his speech.
I can not brush them off when they have questions.
I can do the dishes for my mom so she can take a nap.
I can not be on the computer so I can be available for something else.
I can give my dad a hug when he comes home.
I can send an email to a friend just because.
I can make a difference, and I don't need to change the whole world. Great things start small, and if I can make a difference in one person's life, God can turn that into something bigger in His timing and strength.
Going through a typical week, with all the people I encounter and all the experiences I have, I keep seeing the brokenness of the world.
The homeless man on the street. That girl sitting all by herself at lunch. Those 10 year olds in awana who don't understand who God is. Those news stories about murders. Discussing politics. Working to keep up with my school work. Trying to learn more about the world.
My head spins thinking of how many problems there are in the world, how many people need help - and I want to do something about it.
I want to change the world, and I want to make a difference for the kingdom of God. I want to be radical, crazy, different, a world-changer.
But the other day, I heard this (ridiculously simple) statement:
You don't have to solve the world's problems.
Huh?
Oh right, I'm not God.
But I was also reminded of this story:
One day, a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?"
The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die."
"Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!"
After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf.
Then, smiling at the man, he said, "I made a difference for that one."
A lot of times I'm overwhelmed with all the things there are to do. How do I know what I'm supposed to do, and how am I supposed to make a difference?
Unlike some of my friends, who have been called off to places like Argentina, Peru, Russia, and China -- or even to direct Awana, minister to youth, serve in church -- I'm not really sure what I'm called to do, or how exactly I can make a difference.
But there are places I can make a difference right here.
I can watch that lego movie with my little brother.
I can help my brother with his speech.
I can not brush them off when they have questions.
I can do the dishes for my mom so she can take a nap.
I can not be on the computer so I can be available for something else.
I can give my dad a hug when he comes home.
I can send an email to a friend just because.
I can make a difference, and I don't need to change the whole world. Great things start small, and if I can make a difference in one person's life, God can turn that into something bigger in His timing and strength.
Early's on time.
My favorite part of halloween is when the local Christian radio station plays Christmas music all day. I used to be a Christmas-music-is-only-for-December purist, but I have since changed from my old ways and now listen to it in November.
And just today, my favorite band (tenth avenue north, of course) released A NEW CHRISTMAS SONG! (que massive excitement)
Yes, it's dumb, it's not the best Christmas song ever, but it's tenth avenue north, and it's Christmas.
Even though I'm really excited for Christmas, I am absolutely loving the fall weather - no rain, crisp, cold mornings, fog, hot tea, and crunchy leaves.
:)
And just today, my favorite band (tenth avenue north, of course) released A NEW CHRISTMAS SONG! (que massive excitement)
Yes, it's dumb, it's not the best Christmas song ever, but it's tenth avenue north, and it's Christmas.
Even though I'm really excited for Christmas, I am absolutely loving the fall weather - no rain, crisp, cold mornings, fog, hot tea, and crunchy leaves.
:)
Friday, October 28
Have you signed?
It was recently brought to my attention that I never informed my readers about the status of Asia Bibi and the video competition we entered.
This is ::cough:: largely due to the fact that ::cough:: nobody commented. ::cough::
ANYWAY.
We did not win and thus will not be going to DC. However, we did place 2nd, which included a happy youtube comment, more youtube views, and a shiny tshirt as a prize....which has yet to arrive in the mail. Here's the first place winner - who, despite our best efforts, definitely deserved to win.
All video competitions aside, I implore you to please sign the petition.
You can find it at CallForMercy.com.
Asia has been in prison for over 2 years and soon will be executed, merely for sharing her faith - if something is not done.
In November, a group from Voice of the Martyrs will be taking this petition to the Pakistan embassy in Washington DC to plead for Asia's release. Their goal is 1,000,000. Currently we're at 300,000.
Guys, that's 700,000 more signatures.
By mid-November.
I think we can do it. We all have blogs, emails, friends, facebook accounts, websites, contacts. Let's spread this petition around, encourage others to spread it around, and make a difference in this incredible woman's life.
Have you signed the petition?
This is ::cough:: largely due to the fact that ::cough:: nobody commented. ::cough::
ANYWAY.
We did not win and thus will not be going to DC. However, we did place 2nd, which included a happy youtube comment, more youtube views, and a shiny tshirt as a prize....which has yet to arrive in the mail. Here's the first place winner - who, despite our best efforts, definitely deserved to win.
All video competitions aside, I implore you to please sign the petition.
You can find it at CallForMercy.com.
Asia has been in prison for over 2 years and soon will be executed, merely for sharing her faith - if something is not done.
In November, a group from Voice of the Martyrs will be taking this petition to the Pakistan embassy in Washington DC to plead for Asia's release. Their goal is 1,000,000. Currently we're at 300,000.
Guys, that's 700,000 more signatures.
By mid-November.
I think we can do it. We all have blogs, emails, friends, facebook accounts, websites, contacts. Let's spread this petition around, encourage others to spread it around, and make a difference in this incredible woman's life.
Have you signed the petition?
Thursday, October 27
Tuesday, October 25
Monday, October 17
Before today becomes our yesterday.
Tomorrow, my friend Paul and I turn 18. It's a golden birthday! Wheee!! We've always had fun having the same birthday.
But only just now, we were mourning our last hours as children. It was rather pitiful. (I, being the girl, was far more pitiful...)
It just sort of occurred to me that the rest of my life is lived in adulthood.
Call me naive and childish, but yes, I did just realise that.
And it makes me think -- there really is no going back.
10 years from now, I will still be me - not some magically transformed person who changed ages. The things I do now will become who I am later.
People say, "treasure every day, because it could be the last you've got."
And while I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me, it sort of makes me realise how much each day really is a treasure. Because -- really, this is...IT. Pretty soon I have to go to college. I have to move out. I have to live on my own....for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to realise more and more what people mean when they say that the teen years are a launching pad for the rest of your life.
Because really, the "rest of your life" is the majority of your life. Childhood is such a very, very small part of your life.
As some random song that's played on the radio station goes,
"This is the first day of the rest of your life."
It's weird, but it's actually kinda true.
Isn't growing up weird? It never stops happening. I keep thinking I'll hit some happy medium and be the same for a long time. But clearly this is not the case.
I have two more years left before I go to college. That's two more years of my family as I know it now. Am I treasuring it while it lasts?
Do I push my little brother off when he wants to hang out with me? Am I listening to my music when my older little brother wants to talk to me? Do I ignore my dad when he wants to tell me something, or my mom when she wants help in the kitchen?
Even now, I look back at my days of being 8 years old and thing "those were the days."
But what's to stop me from making these days "those days?" Will I look back on these years with joy? I want to.
I want to remember the way my brothers laugh when I tickle them, the way my mom smiles when I surprise her, the way my dad goofs off and teases me. I want to treasure every moment while it's here.
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Take in all the colors before they fade to gray
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
When it's all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
Slow down, slow down
Before today becomes our yesterday
Slow down, slow down
Before you turn around and it's too late
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink.
But only just now, we were mourning our last hours as children. It was rather pitiful. (I, being the girl, was far more pitiful...)
It just sort of occurred to me that the rest of my life is lived in adulthood.
Call me naive and childish, but yes, I did just realise that.
And it makes me think -- there really is no going back.
10 years from now, I will still be me - not some magically transformed person who changed ages. The things I do now will become who I am later.
People say, "treasure every day, because it could be the last you've got."
And while I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me, it sort of makes me realise how much each day really is a treasure. Because -- really, this is...IT. Pretty soon I have to go to college. I have to move out. I have to live on my own....for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to realise more and more what people mean when they say that the teen years are a launching pad for the rest of your life.
Because really, the "rest of your life" is the majority of your life. Childhood is such a very, very small part of your life.
As some random song that's played on the radio station goes,
"This is the first day of the rest of your life."
It's weird, but it's actually kinda true.
Isn't growing up weird? It never stops happening. I keep thinking I'll hit some happy medium and be the same for a long time. But clearly this is not the case.
I have two more years left before I go to college. That's two more years of my family as I know it now. Am I treasuring it while it lasts?
Do I push my little brother off when he wants to hang out with me? Am I listening to my music when my older little brother wants to talk to me? Do I ignore my dad when he wants to tell me something, or my mom when she wants help in the kitchen?
Even now, I look back at my days of being 8 years old and thing "those were the days."
But what's to stop me from making these days "those days?" Will I look back on these years with joy? I want to.
I want to remember the way my brothers laugh when I tickle them, the way my mom smiles when I surprise her, the way my dad goofs off and teases me. I want to treasure every moment while it's here.
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Take in all the colors before they fade to gray
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
When it's all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
Slow down, slow down
Before today becomes our yesterday
Slow down, slow down
Before you turn around and it's too late
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink.
Sunday, October 16
And so it begins.
Last weekend marked the first official tournament of the speech and debate season.
Not only that, it was the first official tournament that anybody in our league has had.
Like, nobody else in the country had a tournament yet.
Isn't that special?
There were no speech events - just debate. So that was 2 very long days of debate -- with my psychotic, half-insane debate club. :D
We spent 5 hours in the car (yes, our entire club.) (Granted, there's only 4 in our club) driving down to Eugene, Oregon - listening to Veggie Tales, Revive, Irish Pub music, and creating debate examples based off of things we saw outside the window.
Because we all had school-ish such things going on that day, we didn't leave till 4:30pm. This means that with a 5 hour car ride, we didn't get there till like 10 pm.
And, at 5am the next morning, tournament insanity began!
Because it was just debate, there were extra rounds. My friend Paul and I were also crazy (or perhaps ignorant...you never know) enough to try a new form of debate which we've never done before called "parliamentary debate." Styled after, of course, the British Parliament.
So combined with that and the usual amount of debate, I debated a total of 11 rounds, which is roundabouts of 11 hours of debate.
11 hours.
That's 11 hours of having your ideas beat to a pulp, and then having to muster up the brainpower to attempt to beat their ideas to a similar pulp.
With no speech to balance it out.
So at this present moment, I am thoroughly out of my mind, and fear I shall remain so for quite awhile.
Not only that, it was the first official tournament that anybody in our league has had.
Like, nobody else in the country had a tournament yet.
Isn't that special?
There were no speech events - just debate. So that was 2 very long days of debate -- with my psychotic, half-insane debate club. :D
We spent 5 hours in the car (yes, our entire club.) (Granted, there's only 4 in our club) driving down to Eugene, Oregon - listening to Veggie Tales, Revive, Irish Pub music, and creating debate examples based off of things we saw outside the window.
Because we all had school-ish such things going on that day, we didn't leave till 4:30pm. This means that with a 5 hour car ride, we didn't get there till like 10 pm.
And, at 5am the next morning, tournament insanity began!
Because it was just debate, there were extra rounds. My friend Paul and I were also crazy (or perhaps ignorant...you never know) enough to try a new form of debate which we've never done before called "parliamentary debate." Styled after, of course, the British Parliament.
So combined with that and the usual amount of debate, I debated a total of 11 rounds, which is roundabouts of 11 hours of debate.
11 hours.
That's 11 hours of having your ideas beat to a pulp, and then having to muster up the brainpower to attempt to beat their ideas to a similar pulp.
With no speech to balance it out.
So at this present moment, I am thoroughly out of my mind, and fear I shall remain so for quite awhile.
Thursday, October 13
学 中 文 。
These are the kind of things going through my head right now. It's like a song you only know part of the words for.
您好！
我是美国人。
我喜欢喝咖啡。
你喜欢茶吗？
我的中文不好。
I can read, write, and pronounce all of that. Without Google Translate. What I'm really proud of, however, is that I have sort of started thinking in Chinese. Little itty bitty phrases, like please, thank you, goodbye, and my name is.....
It's cool.
再见！
您好！
我是美国人。
中国是很美。
我喜欢喝咖啡。
我的中文不好。
I can read, write, and pronounce all of that. Without Google Translate. What I'm really proud of, however, is that I have sort of started thinking in Chinese. Little itty bitty phrases, like please, thank you, goodbye, and my name is.....
It's cool.
再见！
Sunday, September 25
Sea of Faces
Have you ever looked out the window as you drive down the freeway and thought about all those cars? There's hundreds....thousands.Then you get to a big school like my community college. Forget the "school" experience in my 5-kid classroom. That's a lot of people.
Each one of them is unique. Each one of them has a life, a family, friends. They have sorrows, joys, excitements, pet peeves. They have various classes, events, and places they go. They all probably have something different they're going through, they all have different goals.
Does it ever leave you in awe that God meets each of us where we are? What care is this - that He made us all? What love is this - that He loves us all?
And Seattle isn't even the biggest city in the Northwest, let alone the whole country....let alone the world.
How do you make an impact? How do you make a difference?
Books I've been reading lately.
The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to our Brains
by Nicholas Carr
The Reason for God
by Timothy Keller
by Timothy Keller
Just Do Something
by Kevin DeYoung
by Kevin DeYoung
Uncompromising
by Hannah Farver
My Utmost for His Highest
by Oswald Chambers
by Oswald Chambers
Mere Christianity
by C.S. Lewis
Thriving at College
by Alex Chediak
Humility: True Greatness
by C.J. Mahaney
by C.S. Lewis
Thriving at College
by Alex Chediak
Humility: True Greatness
by C.J. Mahaney
Saturday, September 17
Notice.
Starting Monday, I shall begin school.Like, actual, real life, take-your-books-in-a-backpack-school.
Like, you get homework.
And teachers.
And classrooms.
And you have to drive there.
...
Homeschooled much? =P
Anyhow, I'm super stoked, and hopefully you'll hear of my adventurings later on. But it might be awhile till I post, just...to, you know, notify you of that.
Sunday, September 11
Live What I am Dreaming of
Yeah, I'm posting another Trading Yesterday song.
Yes, I just posted about them last time. But I had to share with you another awesome song.
See, a lot of my life recently has been along the lines of:
School planning
Debate about economic security vs. personal freedom
School planning
Debate about economic security vs. personal freedom
Wonder what in the world God is doing with my life
School planning vs. personal freedom
Wonder what God's will is for my life
Debate about economic security
School planning
Wonder about what God is doing with my life
School planning
....you get the idea. It's rigid, kind of intense, and full of all the kind of structure and organisation that I kind of enjoy. (not the stress, the organisation)
But even us non-free-spirited people who love organisation feel a little stuffy at times, and especially after having a deep conversation with your father and brother about personal freedom vs. economic security, long conversations with your mother about school schedules, and long conversations with God about what is going on in your life.....yeah never mind.
(your brain quits working, that's what)
Also what happens after you read books like "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. (more about that later, I think)
It's like that excitement you get when you start to feel that all that rigidity and organisation and stuff might be paying off, but it hasn't actually happened yet so you aren't sure.
It sparks something. I'm not sure what, because it's too late in the night. But it's in this song. So if you want to know, listen to it. That is, if the above even made sense to you. Which it quite possibly didn't. I'll never know unless you comment.
I'm taking my chances as I go // Life is more than just survival // Love will be the thing that sets me free // Just a little faith is all I need // To live what I am dreaming of.
Yes, I just posted about them last time. But I had to share with you another awesome song.
See, a lot of my life recently has been along the lines of:
School planning
Debate about economic security vs. personal freedom
School planning
Debate about economic security vs. personal freedom
Wonder what in the world God is doing with my life
School planning vs. personal freedom
Wonder what God's will is for my life
Debate about economic security
School planning
Wonder about what God is doing with my life
School planning
....you get the idea. It's rigid, kind of intense, and full of all the kind of structure and organisation that I kind of enjoy. (not the stress, the organisation)
But even us non-free-spirited people who love organisation feel a little stuffy at times, and especially after having a deep conversation with your father and brother about personal freedom vs. economic security, long conversations with your mother about school schedules, and long conversations with God about what is going on in your life.....yeah never mind.
(your brain quits working, that's what)
Also what happens after you read books like "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. (more about that later, I think)
It's like that excitement you get when you start to feel that all that rigidity and organisation and stuff might be paying off, but it hasn't actually happened yet so you aren't sure.
It sparks something. I'm not sure what, because it's too late in the night. But it's in this song. So if you want to know, listen to it. That is, if the above even made sense to you. Which it quite possibly didn't. I'll never know unless you comment.
I'm taking my chances as I go // Life is more than just survival // Love will be the thing that sets me free // Just a little faith is all I need // To live what I am dreaming of.
Friday, September 9
Music [discovery] of the week.
So, I began this post in hopes that I would (ideally) post somewhat frequently about the music I love and listen to because sharing good music is something that I just kind of love doing. (which is why I love teaching) Buuut I haven't been so good about that lately.Today, however, I am pleased to present you with the band Trading Yesterday, introduced to me courtesy of Ophelia's gmail status. :D
I found a playlist on youtube for their band, hit play, and went back to the debate homework I had been doing before I got distracted.
After about 20 minutes, I realized I was still listening to the playlist, and I hadn't turned it off!
Okay, so maybe that's not so weird.
But for me (sadly) style of music is kind of important to me in music. I have a lot of friends who don't care what kind of music is, so long as it has good lyrics. Which I agree is a pretty good way to measure it - but sometimes, no matter how good the words are, screaming and yelling just isn't music. (Classical musician for ya)
So I was surprised to find that this band had decent music with a consistent style that I didn't hate. =P
Yes! a band I am willing to spend $10 of my money to purchase their entire album and the lyrics have depth!
Heh. Turns out they are nonexistent anymore. (depression!) So I have to resort back to my youtube playlist.
But man, their music is good.
Current favorite: "Shattered"
Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding
Fall into your sunlight
The future's open wide beyond believing
To know why hope dies
And losing what was found, a world so hollow
Suspended in a compromise
But the silence of this sound is soon to follow
Somehow sundown
And finding answers
Is forgetting all of the questions we call home
Passing the graves of the unknown
As reason clouds my eyes with splendor fading
Illusions of the sunlight
A reflection of a lie will keep me waiting
With love gone for so long
And this day's ending
Is the proof of time killing all the faith I know
Knowing that faith is all I hold
And I've lost who I am, (i'm waiting)
and I can't understand (and fading)
Why my heart is so broken, (and holding)
rejecting your love, (love) without, (onto these tears)
love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on (i am crying)
But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning (i'm dying tonight)
who I am from the start, (i'm waiting)
take me home to my heart (and fading)
Let me go and I will run, (and holding)
I will not be silent, (silent) all this time (onto these tears)
spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain (i am crying)
All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over (i'm dying tonight)
There's a light, there's a sun (i'm waiting...)
taking all these shattered ones
To the place we belong (i am waiting...)
and his love will conquer all
Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding
Fall into your sunlight
Another amazing one is called "For You Only." It's just....beautiful.
Blinding darkness surrounds me
And I am reaching for you only
This hopelessness that drowns all that I believe
Will be the one thing that I need
For you only
Keep on running farther, faster
Keep on searching for this haunting has an answer
And I know you will find me, in orbit
For I am breathing only for this.
For you only. For you only. For you only.
This is not to mention "Change My Name," "What I'm Dreaming Of," and "World on Fire." (oh my goodness "World of Fire" is AMAZING.)
Yeah, you should check out their music. It's almost as awesome, if not as awesome - as Tenth Avenue North. Now that's good music. :)
Wednesday, September 7
My life as a [non] gymnast.
I'm a gymnast.Sort of.
I was a gymnast from like age 3 until the end of my freshman year.
And I wasn't a real gymnast - since I never seriously competed - only little meets and stuff.
But man, I loved it. I tell you, there's nothing like the satisfying *smack* when you hit the floor in a solid finish after flying through the air in a backflip. I love that noise.
*Smack.*
But now I'm getting all nostalgic.
One thing I really miss, though, was the workout. Nothin' like a good 2 1/2 hour workout and conditioning afterwards.
It is OoooOOoooohhhhh so painful sometimes. No, a lot of the times. Especially if you're doing like splits.
On a 3 inch wide beam.
Yeah. Ow.
So in the last 2-3 years that I've been out of gymnastics, I've tried to work out on my own to stay in shape.
::cough::
Um, yeah, about that....
The thing is, I can't do it myself. I don't have the equipment, the resources, or the right locations.
But, in order to get flexible and to get stronger - you have to work out. Consistently.
Working out makes you stronger.
And it made me think of the verse - you know, that says "work out your own salvation."
I've always been a little confused by that, because you don't need to work to earn grace.
But it doesn't mean "work" in that way. I think it
means that once we are saved, we need to work consistently if we want to get stronger.Cause, see, you don't have to work out to sign up for the gym. But once you're in - and paid the price for it - it'd be pointless to just sit there and do nothing, wouldn't it?
Can you imagine if someone else paid your gym membership - for life? Of course you'd go work out, wouldn't you?
Working out without the right equipment and without the right coaching can be dangerous - and you can easily hurt yourself.
I can't get stronger by myself - I need a coach to push me. I don't know the right exercises to do myself - I need a coach to teach me.
But what if you had the coach who created the sport in the first place? Boy, would that be a workout.
And that's the thing about life, I can't do the right things without my Coach. I can't become stronger and better unless I'm working out consistently.
But how awful it is the number of times I just sit on the sidelines instead of getting in there and doing my splits.
Yeah, I'll admit it. I put off doing splits because, let's face it, it is painful. Especially when you haven't worked out in awhile.OH! and that's another thing! The longer you don't work out, the more painful it is to get back to where you were. Think splits are as easy for me now as they were when I was doing gymnastics? Think again - they hurt way more now because I haven't been working out consistently.
Okay, so that was a long post - and I might have stretched the analogy a bit.
But what do you think? Am I totally off my rocker here? Is the concept of working out applicable to the verse "work out your own salvation?" Or what do you think that verse really means?
Tuesday, September 6
True Perseverance.
If you still haven't checked out Jon Acuff's blog, you need to. Seriously. Look, I made half of that sentence a link so you wouldn't miss it.
This post in particular is really good - and here's an excerpt of it.
"When I focused on one approach...things changed. When I made a commitment and focused on keeping it, things changed. When I didn’t give up and change course the first day or the 15th day or the 30th day, things changed.
Sometimes we have a hard time focusing on things. There are so many different ways to accomplish a goal. So many ways to write a book or record a song or start a business or do anything that really matters to us. And when we hit a roadblock with one approach, it’s tempting to look for another.
When you find yourself in that situation, and you will, wait.
Pause.
Don’t give up on what you’re working on."
Saturday, September 3
Asia Bibi: A Call for Mercy.
I don't know about you, but I've thought a lot about how we have the freedom to share our faith in the USA.
I mean - we don't really think it's that big of a deal.
But can you imagine being put in prison for it? Or even being sentenced to death?
A Christian woman in Pakistan named Asia Bibi did just that - and is right now in jail, with a death sentence.
Through the organization the Voice of the Martyrs, my brother, myself, and some friends of ours recently made a video to spread awareness about her situation.
The Voice of the Martyrs has started a petition for her release, and their goal is to get 1 million signatures.
They're also hosting a video contest to raise awareness, and you need 200 views by this Monday in order to be eligible.
Please watch the video and share it with your friends. It's not often I ask people to repost or reblog something - but it will only take a few seconds.
Even more than that, please, please sign the petition. It may not seem like a lot, but every signature counts.
You can view the video HERE, and sign the petition HERE.
Every signature is a call for mercy.
I mean - we don't really think it's that big of a deal.
But can you imagine being put in prison for it? Or even being sentenced to death?
A Christian woman in Pakistan named Asia Bibi did just that - and is right now in jail, with a death sentence.
Through the organization the Voice of the Martyrs, my brother, myself, and some friends of ours recently made a video to spread awareness about her situation.
The Voice of the Martyrs has started a petition for her release, and their goal is to get 1 million signatures.
They're also hosting a video contest to raise awareness, and you need 200 views by this Monday in order to be eligible.
Please watch the video and share it with your friends. It's not often I ask people to repost or reblog something - but it will only take a few seconds.
Even more than that, please, please sign the petition. It may not seem like a lot, but every signature counts.
You can view the video HERE, and sign the petition HERE.
Every signature is a call for mercy.
Wednesday, August 31
It's okay to not always be right.
So I've been working on accompanying my little brother for his Suzuki Book 2 violin recital that's coming up. (If you're an ancient blog reader of mine, you might remember his Book 1 recital...this one's not near as extravagant. =P )
And between speech, debate, geometry, piano, flute, awana, teaching, and general life-busyness, I ::cough:: haven't had a generous amount of time to practice the accompaniment part.
Having played piano for 12 years helps, but I'm still a little shaky, and the thing is tomorrow.
But if you've ever accompanied someone, you know it's not about hitting all the right notes, but it's about making the performer look good. If you miss a trill or the middle note of that chord, it's okay.
(being a classical pianist, it's hard to wrap your mind around....trust me, there's a difference.)
What you don't want to do is get off sync with your performer - staying with them is really important. If I'm always trying to get the right notes, I'm putting the focus on myself.
But as an accompanist, my job is not to draw attention to myself but to magnify the performer and make them look good.
The question is not "did I get all the notes right?" but "did I fulfill my job as accompanist?"
And I was thinking how that's true of life as well.
See, it doesn't really matter if we do everything right all the time, if we hit everything spot on and play every single note. What matters is that we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus constantly -that we are fulfilling the purpose He's given us and giving the glory to Him.
If we don't always get everything done that we wanted, or the day didn't go quite right, or we didn't react in the best way possible - it's okay. What matters is that I stay in sync with God.
When I try to look good, dress right, and worry so much about how everything is going wrong - I'm worrying about myself - and not giving glory to God.
It's not about me playing the right notes - it's about being a good accompanist.
Monday, August 29
This just kinda made my day.
It's one of those days where what you really need is just a good laugh.
(thanks to Keilah for posting it on fb :)
(thanks to Keilah for posting it on fb :)
Wednesday, August 24
The title is relevant to the post, I promise.
Okay, maybe not.
So, I'm sitting here, trying to think up of a witty way to start this post so that you'll read it.
Huh?
Oh come on, everyone knows that you'll only read blog posts with interesting titles and/or first 2.3 sentences.
Unless you're one of those madly devoted followers who clings to every word a person says like it was sent from heaven above.
But I don't think I have any followers like that.
(on that note, do we cling to God's words like they were sent from heaven above? cause you know, they kinda are.)
Anyhow. I've got this weird writing style stuck in my head because, guess what? I just read a blog with a similar writing style, and it got stuck in my head.
Yeah, I'm one of those people who feeds off of others creativity. Get over it, you know I have your attention now. (come on, you gotta admit it was pretty witty. I couldn't do it more than once though, darn this creativity thing.) (hence why the post is witty, and the title is dumb)
;)
But now that I've wasted a perfectly good 45 seconds of your life, I'll tell you why I'm blogging at 11pm at night.
I want to share with you Jon Acuff's blog. He's got two, actually.
I came across this post this evening, and wow...let me tell you that man can write some powerful stuff. (Go read it. Now. You can read the rest of this later. )
(aw, aren't you devoted! you're still reading!)
I've never heard of him before, aside from a hazy memory of picking up his book in the bookshop of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (wilst in Boston) and being mildly amused.
I haven't scoured his website or been a long time reader, but in only reading a few posts on his blog, it's evident that he loves the Lord.
The cool part is? He's human, just like you and me.
I feel like it's so rare to find blog authors who are bluntly honest. People put up so many masks in hopes that it will attract attention. (of course, they'd never say that, because you know...that'd be....honest.)
But lately, I just need to know that I'm not the only one. And even if he's famous, he's a sinner saved by grace...just like me.
Rest assured, this is not the last you'll hear of this blog on my blog. It's like hearing a good sermon, one that God wrote for you....so refreshing.
The thing is, I really really want you to go read his blog. No, I'm not advertising, the stuff on there is amazing.
Jesus Christ is the formula killer. He won’t behave according to our formulas. He won’t fit into our incredibly tiny expectations. He refuses to be controlled by our logic. {Jon Acuff}
Check it out, then tell me what you think.
Actually, no. If you checked out the blog, and you liked it, comment. Hopefully that won't scare you away from checking out the blog for fear of being guilted into commenting....rather it will enticingly woo you to type into the comment box....okay I'll stop now.
So, I'm sitting here, trying to think up of a witty way to start this post so that you'll read it.
Huh?
Oh come on, everyone knows that you'll only read blog posts with interesting titles and/or first 2.3 sentences.
Unless you're one of those madly devoted followers who clings to every word a person says like it was sent from heaven above.
But I don't think I have any followers like that.
(on that note, do we cling to God's words like they were sent from heaven above? cause you know, they kinda are.)
Anyhow. I've got this weird writing style stuck in my head because, guess what? I just read a blog with a similar writing style, and it got stuck in my head.
Yeah, I'm one of those people who feeds off of others creativity. Get over it, you know I have your attention now. (come on, you gotta admit it was pretty witty. I couldn't do it more than once though, darn this creativity thing.) (hence why the post is witty, and the title is dumb)
;)
But now that I've wasted a perfectly good 45 seconds of your life, I'll tell you why I'm blogging at 11pm at night.
I want to share with you Jon Acuff's blog. He's got two, actually.
I came across this post this evening, and wow...let me tell you that man can write some powerful stuff. (Go read it. Now. You can read the rest of this later. )
(aw, aren't you devoted! you're still reading!)
I've never heard of him before, aside from a hazy memory of picking up his book in the bookshop of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (wilst in Boston) and being mildly amused.
I haven't scoured his website or been a long time reader, but in only reading a few posts on his blog, it's evident that he loves the Lord.
The cool part is? He's human, just like you and me.
I feel like it's so rare to find blog authors who are bluntly honest. People put up so many masks in hopes that it will attract attention. (of course, they'd never say that, because you know...that'd be....honest.)
But lately, I just need to know that I'm not the only one. And even if he's famous, he's a sinner saved by grace...just like me.
Rest assured, this is not the last you'll hear of this blog on my blog. It's like hearing a good sermon, one that God wrote for you....so refreshing.
The thing is, I really really want you to go read his blog. No, I'm not advertising, the stuff on there is amazing.
Jesus Christ is the formula killer. He won’t behave according to our formulas. He won’t fit into our incredibly tiny expectations. He refuses to be controlled by our logic. {Jon Acuff}
Check it out, then tell me what you think.
Actually, no. If you checked out the blog, and you liked it, comment. Hopefully that won't scare you away from checking out the blog for fear of being guilted into commenting....rather it will enticingly woo you to type into the comment box....okay I'll stop now.
Scenes from a Summer
This was almost like a preschool reunion or something.
I have known this amazing girl since I we were 3 years old!
My lovely new friend Emily and I at the Rebelution Conference in Portland
[post on that coming soon....ideally]
Some of the sweetest girls I know.
Me 'an my Narnia Nerd buddy at the Narnia Exhibit in Portland.
One of CS Lewis' wardrobes. :D
Cousinsauce
This is my awesome friend Heather. We've known each other since we were 4.
Last weekend we adventured out to Fort Casey and Deception Pass on Whidbey Island with some friends.
I have known this amazing girl since I we were 3 years old!
My lovely new friend Emily and I at the Rebelution Conference in Portland
[post on that coming soon....ideally]
Some of the sweetest girls I know.
Me 'an my Narnia Nerd buddy at the Narnia Exhibit in Portland.
One of CS Lewis' wardrobes. :D
Cousinsauce
This is my awesome friend Heather. We've known each other since we were 4.
I love them.
Middle of August, wearing jeans, hiking trails. It's what we do.
We are true Washingtonians. We wade in the pacific.
Middle of August, wearing jeans, hiking trails. It's what we do.
We are true Washingtonians. We wade in the pacific.
Kite flying at Fort Casey
We are pretty cool, if I do say so myself.
I feel as if this picture accurately describes our relationship.
Explaining to visiting East-Coast friends what real pine trees look like. ;)
Ever seen the movie "The Wilderness Family?"
Cheesy/fake/cropped/free Space Needle souvenier :D
Definitely going on my list for best summers of the year. Oh wait, that doesn't sound right, there's only one summer per year. Oh well. ::happy sigh::
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