It's amazing how many times the words of Psalm 126:5-6 pop up in my life.
Those who sow in tears will reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, will doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
Below are 2 posts recounting the Regional speech tournament I was in. I wrote the first one between Saturday and Tuesday - my tears....the next between Wednesday and now - my joy.
NOTE: These are posted out of chronological order. Read from top (here) to bottom (end of 2nd post) I disabled comments until the very end so that it's all like one big long post.
I tried to avoid unnecessary details and any possible over exaggerations. But I'm a speech-er, so you'll have to forgive a bit of melodrama, alright? ;) I should also note that it is long and drawn out. Also know that tournament directors have their reasons, but I also stand resolved on mine. I'll try my best not to make either one of us sound horrible, but it's hard when I stand so firmly on one side of the fence.
The regional speech tournament went just like any other tournament to start out with. Oh, you know. Trying to catch up/get ahead on schoolwork so you could dedicate your focus entirely to the tournament but not actually getting it done until two days before the tournament and then frantically cramming as much speech as is insanely possible. Then realizing (the night before the tourny) that it really was all your fault for not working harder and managing your time better (before the tourny) and so you go into the tournament knowing you don't deserve to do well and slightly nervous of failure - but of course prepared to give it your best. (As well as a small hope that perhaps, since all the last-minute things turned out alright in previous tournaments, that perhaps....God will give you grace this time, too) And then, of course, everything does turn out perfectly fine and you end up enjoying yourself far more than you thought.
::pauses for breath::
And this is where the story begins.
Sunday, April 25
Now a Memory....
...Thus was the course of my Monday-through-Friday-until-around-6:30-ish
Like I said last time I posted about the tournament - it was going great. I was looking forward to Friday and Saturday.
Friday evening, shortly after they had just announced that speech breaks would not be until Saturday morning (::grumble::), we were informed that the Chinese-style shirt I had worn for my Chinese speech (Illustrated Oratory - IO) was being thought of as a costume. We spent the next 2+ hours trying to convince them otherwise.
Their "concern" was that I had made a mental connection between the shirt and my speech, and that they couldn't have me "enhancing my speech that way". They also said that it would be an unfair advantage to other students. We tried to tell them I had worn it to previous qualifying tournaments and no one said anything, that I had worn it for my completely UN-Chinese DI (Dramatic Interpretation) and duo. But they were pretty much unshakable.
Slowly, with each passing question, they beat my dream of ever making it to nationals this year to the ground.
Have you ever worked for a long, long time for something you really wanted, only to find disappointment? I have never, ever in my life have a goal I was so motivated to work towards.
You think I was obsessed when it came to Bible quiz meets? To piano competitions? The Bible bee, even? I've never been obsessed with winning, so much as the process. Perhaps it's because I'm used to coming in 2nd all the time. But for some reason, I've never placed 1st in something huge (Awana Grand Prix does NOT count), but I've never been that upset over it. I'm content with 2nd, or 3rd - so long as everything was played fairly and there wasn't some sort of emotional battle going on (like games and quiz this year) while doing it.
But that's because I've never aimed for 1st. I've always felt that someone else would be there, so I'll just aim for 2nd place. You know what I did this time?
I aimed for 1st. I told myself what my friend has told himself for his competitions. I'm going to win this. I am going to make it to nationals. While I know I didn't put as much work as I could have (all that last minute stuff, you know....), I really put a lot of myself into it.
You know me. I love obsessing over things, being a perfectionist, and doing everything just right. I throw myself into something I love. And I haven't had anything this year to do that with.
But Tuesday night before the tournament, I realized that I didn't deserve to win. I didn't deserve to qualify for nationals. I had continually put things off until this last minute, why should God just let me qualify to a national tournament like that?
But oh, I had such high hopes. So I told God that this was His tournament. I told Him I wanted more than anything in the world to qualify for nationals, but if He didn't want me to, then I would still rejoice - whatever was His will.
I think He took me up on it - although I sure didn't think it would happen this way.
About a third of the way through that conversation, we had to pause because they had to go announce debate breaks. So I went into the bathroom, dried my eyes, and told God this was for Him...over, and over, and over again. Then I told myself I was fabulous, that everything was fabulous, and went back into the room and recited 1 Corinthians 13 three times through to myself before they came back.
And then they did. My brain kept spinning, they kept questioning me, repeating over and over again that I had admitted to making a connection between a Chinese shirt and a Chinese speech and therefore had violated the rule......
I understood their intentions. I understood their reasoning. I understood, and they knew it. But no amount of our position could persuade them otherwise.
But through the tears, some kind of peace kept pushing. My heart kept crying out that God had a plan, He had a reason. He was still sovereign, still good.
It could have been the sheer injustice of it all. But by the time I arrived Saturday morning, my entire club knew - and it was oh, such a beautiful blessing to be surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. By the end of the day, it felt like half the competitors were on my side.
After the tournament, they (the board of directors/interrogators) told me I would have broken to semis. (we asked for this information) I knew that was the case. I know I would have broken to finals, and I'm convinced I would have qualified for nationals.
But something in me kept saying, "look at all the ways God has blessed you. You aren't going to nationals, but look what else you have."
This is a poem that Gray wrote awhile back, which she shared with me after the tournament:
Lord, I come with humbled heart,
My pride has left my eyes.
I come a child, full of trust,
I leave behind all ties.
I come a child, unconcerned
With things too great for me,
I come a child, longing just
To sit here, at your knee.
With quiet soul, and patient heart,
I put my hope in you.
I give my heart! I give my soul!
I’m yours, Lord, through and through!
Like I said last time I posted about the tournament - it was going great. I was looking forward to Friday and Saturday.
Friday evening, shortly after they had just announced that speech breaks would not be until Saturday morning (::grumble::), we were informed that the Chinese-style shirt I had worn for my Chinese speech (Illustrated Oratory - IO) was being thought of as a costume. We spent the next 2+ hours trying to convince them otherwise.
Their "concern" was that I had made a mental connection between the shirt and my speech, and that they couldn't have me "enhancing my speech that way". They also said that it would be an unfair advantage to other students. We tried to tell them I had worn it to previous qualifying tournaments and no one said anything, that I had worn it for my completely UN-Chinese DI (Dramatic Interpretation) and duo. But they were pretty much unshakable.
Slowly, with each passing question, they beat my dream of ever making it to nationals this year to the ground.
Have you ever worked for a long, long time for something you really wanted, only to find disappointment? I have never, ever in my life have a goal I was so motivated to work towards.
You think I was obsessed when it came to Bible quiz meets? To piano competitions? The Bible bee, even? I've never been obsessed with winning, so much as the process. Perhaps it's because I'm used to coming in 2nd all the time. But for some reason, I've never placed 1st in something huge (Awana Grand Prix does NOT count), but I've never been that upset over it. I'm content with 2nd, or 3rd - so long as everything was played fairly and there wasn't some sort of emotional battle going on (like games and quiz this year) while doing it.
But that's because I've never aimed for 1st. I've always felt that someone else would be there, so I'll just aim for 2nd place. You know what I did this time?
I aimed for 1st. I told myself what my friend has told himself for his competitions. I'm going to win this. I am going to make it to nationals. While I know I didn't put as much work as I could have (all that last minute stuff, you know....), I really put a lot of myself into it.
You know me. I love obsessing over things, being a perfectionist, and doing everything just right. I throw myself into something I love. And I haven't had anything this year to do that with.
But Tuesday night before the tournament, I realized that I didn't deserve to win. I didn't deserve to qualify for nationals. I had continually put things off until this last minute, why should God just let me qualify to a national tournament like that?
But oh, I had such high hopes. So I told God that this was His tournament. I told Him I wanted more than anything in the world to qualify for nationals, but if He didn't want me to, then I would still rejoice - whatever was His will.
I think He took me up on it - although I sure didn't think it would happen this way.
About a third of the way through that conversation, we had to pause because they had to go announce debate breaks. So I went into the bathroom, dried my eyes, and told God this was for Him...over, and over, and over again. Then I told myself I was fabulous, that everything was fabulous, and went back into the room and recited 1 Corinthians 13 three times through to myself before they came back.
And then they did. My brain kept spinning, they kept questioning me, repeating over and over again that I had admitted to making a connection between a Chinese shirt and a Chinese speech and therefore had violated the rule......
I understood their intentions. I understood their reasoning. I understood, and they knew it. But no amount of our position could persuade them otherwise.
But through the tears, some kind of peace kept pushing. My heart kept crying out that God had a plan, He had a reason. He was still sovereign, still good.
It could have been the sheer injustice of it all. But by the time I arrived Saturday morning, my entire club knew - and it was oh, such a beautiful blessing to be surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. By the end of the day, it felt like half the competitors were on my side.
After the tournament, they (the board of directors/interrogators) told me I would have broken to semis. (we asked for this information) I knew that was the case. I know I would have broken to finals, and I'm convinced I would have qualified for nationals.
But something in me kept saying, "look at all the ways God has blessed you. You aren't going to nationals, but look what else you have."
- I qualified to regionals. Most novices aren't expected to get that far.
- Regionals was in WA. Normally it's somewhere else, like Colorado. That's far.
- If that wasn't enough: Regionals was 2 minutes from my house. A 15 minute walk. Closer than any of the qualifying tournaments.
- The only event I never broke in was impromptu (my DI, IO, and duo all qualified for Regionals)
- Alright, alright, it is my first year. (but I set high goals for myself, first year or not)
- My IO placed 2nd and 3rd in qualifiers
- God provided the means for me to compete in 3 qualifiers, one of which was out of state
- Our duo broke to semis at regionals - something I was not expecting
- My friends, Oh, Heavenly Father, my friends are such a blessing.
This is a poem that Gray wrote awhile back, which she shared with me after the tournament:
Lord, I come with humbled heart,
My pride has left my eyes.
I come a child, full of trust,
I leave behind all ties.
I come a child, unconcerned
With things too great for me,
I come a child, longing just
To sit here, at your knee.
With quiet soul, and patient heart,
I put my hope in you.
I give my heart! I give my soul!
I’m yours, Lord, through and through!
The Weight of Glory
Have you ever been in the place where you're so caught up in the mucky things in life that you begin to find your identity in your problems?
After my disqualification, I was trying very, very hard not to let this happen to me. I've done it with lots of other situations and I was sick of the depressing feeling and the tears. I didn't want to let it eat me up. As much as I love the comfort of my friends, I didn't want to be selfish and self-centered by trying to draw a lot of attention to myself.
It's hard to stay focused on God regardless of feelings. And by Wednesday, I was getting pretty bad at it. But about halfway through Wednesday, I realized that I could not let this get to me. I literally told myself:
Hannah. You are disqualified. You are not going to Nationals. We live, we learn, we move on. God obviously didn't want you there, so you need to buck up and keep going.
I think I had myself somewhat consoled, when dad ran and told me to get off the internet quick, because we needed to save bandwidth and Mrs. P was on the phone. (she was the assistant tournament director)
Almost the moment my coach said "we need to talk about your IO", I knew my dream of going to nationals was going down the drain. And the moment I heard Mrs. P was on the phone, I was almost positive I knew what she had called about.
....I was right. (::happy dance!::) Mrs. P was calling to tell me that I had received an at large slot for my IO. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
For those of you not in speech, "at large" is when you do well in multiple tournaments (I'm guessing like 4th or higher in at least 2 tournaments - but what does this novice know?) but don't qualify for nationals at the regional tournament. This "at large" slot is a spot in the national tournament!!!!!
So yes, in plain, beautiful, wonderful English: I AM GOING TO NATIONALS!
::calms down::
It absolutely amazes me what God can - and will - do, when we "carry on". Not just "*sniffsniff*, okay, I can do this" kind of thing. Really, totally, and fully realizing that God has a greater purpose, and continuing on in the faith that He will reveal it to you in time.
Saying that "there is a reason, there is a hope, God is still good, He is GOD, and I will worship Him no matter what" is precious in the dark. It's what you hold onto.
I've never felt such peace about accepting God's will before. About letting go, and throwing myself into the trust of my Heavenly Father. And when I did, it suddenly put into perspective all the other things that were only partially surrendered to God. Things like church and friendships. While I've tried to surrender them to God, I always seemed to "find identity" in those problems. This problem was just as emotional - but comparatively smaller than others - which put it into perspective for me what it means to surrender something to God.
It is not until we do that that the morning can come. And no matter how long it takes to dawn, whether it be a month, a year, or 5 days as it did for me, this is my prayer - With everything I am, and everything I have - I dedicate myself to doing one thing well: I will love you.
After my disqualification, I was trying very, very hard not to let this happen to me. I've done it with lots of other situations and I was sick of the depressing feeling and the tears. I didn't want to let it eat me up. As much as I love the comfort of my friends, I didn't want to be selfish and self-centered by trying to draw a lot of attention to myself.
It's hard to stay focused on God regardless of feelings. And by Wednesday, I was getting pretty bad at it. But about halfway through Wednesday, I realized that I could not let this get to me. I literally told myself:
Hannah. You are disqualified. You are not going to Nationals. We live, we learn, we move on. God obviously didn't want you there, so you need to buck up and keep going.
I think I had myself somewhat consoled, when dad ran and told me to get off the internet quick, because we needed to save bandwidth and Mrs. P was on the phone. (she was the assistant tournament director)
Almost the moment my coach said "we need to talk about your IO", I knew my dream of going to nationals was going down the drain. And the moment I heard Mrs. P was on the phone, I was almost positive I knew what she had called about.
....I was right. (::happy dance!::) Mrs. P was calling to tell me that I had received an at large slot for my IO. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
For those of you not in speech, "at large" is when you do well in multiple tournaments (I'm guessing like 4th or higher in at least 2 tournaments - but what does this novice know?) but don't qualify for nationals at the regional tournament. This "at large" slot is a spot in the national tournament!!!!!
So yes, in plain, beautiful, wonderful English: I AM GOING TO NATIONALS!
::calms down::
It absolutely amazes me what God can - and will - do, when we "carry on". Not just "*sniffsniff*, okay, I can do this" kind of thing. Really, totally, and fully realizing that God has a greater purpose, and continuing on in the faith that He will reveal it to you in time.
Saying that "there is a reason, there is a hope, God is still good, He is GOD, and I will worship Him no matter what" is precious in the dark. It's what you hold onto.
I've never felt such peace about accepting God's will before. About letting go, and throwing myself into the trust of my Heavenly Father. And when I did, it suddenly put into perspective all the other things that were only partially surrendered to God. Things like church and friendships. While I've tried to surrender them to God, I always seemed to "find identity" in those problems. This problem was just as emotional - but comparatively smaller than others - which put it into perspective for me what it means to surrender something to God.
It is not until we do that that the morning can come. And no matter how long it takes to dawn, whether it be a month, a year, or 5 days as it did for me, this is my prayer - With everything I am, and everything I have - I dedicate myself to doing one thing well: I will love you.
Tuesday, April 20
Oh, oh, oh!
[Sorry this is so incredibly late. I'm catching up, really. I wrote a majority of this right after Idaho but have just gotten around to posting it. Regionals post is coming soon.]
I had the most FABULOUS time at the Idaho tournament over March 18-20. The week preceding was filled with seehowmuchofyourspeechyoucancramintooneday! along with script submission forms, last minute duo changes, and more double stick tape and magnets than a sane person should be handling at one time.
After frantically scurrying around, trying to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything of significant importance, (mind you, this was the first time Raymond and I had gone anywhere without mom or dad. It took awhile to get out the door. =P) we all got in the car and drove to the M's house, since they were taking us. After mom and dad had left (and I had checked the car 3 times to make sure nothing of significance was left in there), we proceeded to spend the next 2 hours chasing angry chickens and running around their house, making sure we hadn't forgotten anything of significant importance.
And off we went!
I love this picture.
We had way too much fun on this car trip.
Sarah, who I called "my monkey" for most of the trip, making her "Giant" face for her speech
I have officially adopted her as another of my little sisters.
Self Explanatory.
Sorry for the bad video quality....this was before I switched to using Raymond's camera. This was right about when we reached Spokane.
We were frantically trying to get Raymond's camera set up so we could film us actually crossing the boarder.
Okay, so maybe I was a *little* excited about getting to Idaho....
(Here you get to hear my "Idaho poem" which was composed specially for the tournament)
We arrived at the church,
survived script submissions and registration,
and then stopped at a Mexican restaurant for dinner with the M family, Mrs. M's brother's family, and Mrs. M's parents. Raymond and I were particularly amused by the "deep fried ice cream" on the dessert menu, which we all got to try in honor of Rebecca's birthday.
Rebecca, Sarah, and I all shared a room....and boy did we have good times.
This was actually our second night. The first night into the first day of the tournament was WAY to hectic to worry about taking pictures. =P
Sisters. =)
"Close your eyes and look like you're asleep!"
"AAAHHHH!!!!"
Bright and early the next morning, after frantic showers, inhaling our breakfast, last minute hair fixes, blazers, tie-malfunctions, and other such things as come with speech competitions, we all hurried out into a crisp, cool Idaho morning (translated as: FREEZING!) to drive to the church.
Just to illustrate how cold it was....
We found some of the most amusing things on the way...
Expensive energy drinks, no?
One LONG tournament day later...the mental-craze of the tournament is finally setting in as we marveled over this chicken like thing right outside the tournament...for which the video is unavailable. But know speech tournaments do weird things to your brain. (haven't I said this already?)
On the way home, we took the "Cliff Road", as Rebecca calls it, by Coeur d'Alene lake.
GORGEOUS.
For once I was satisfied with the results of my attempts-at-photography...
Sarah liked the hairpiece I used on day two, and she asked me to put it in her hair when we got home.
Little model <3
Next day...... Semis/Finals breaks. ...... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
This is where Hannah gets overly hyper and excited.
Our duo (me and Raymond) broke to semis, but not to finals. My Dramatic Interp. broke to finals, as did my Illustrated Oratory.
Semis and finals have always been my favorite rounds (even though they are the most nerve racking)....I get the adrenaline rush and the energy high and run around frantically trying to find rooms, trying not to be nervous, watching some of the really good speeches, and enjoying myself immensely.
This is the kind of thing you do before you go into a round. Pace back and forth looking at patterns on the walls. =P
(actually, he wasn't waiting for a round. But he did find some kind of odd pattern)
Waiting for the awards ceremony with my friend Gabby...
Our duo placed 12th, my dramatic placed 6th, and my illustrated placed 3rd.
And little Miss Sarah competed in the Junior Tournament they held with "Jack and the Beanstalk" for her dramatic. She was the youngest competitor in the entire tournament and placed 3rd. I have never seen her so happy. :)
(she's the shortest one with the lovely green dress)
All in all, it was a lovely tournament and I had a fabulous time.
I had the most FABULOUS time at the Idaho tournament over March 18-20. The week preceding was filled with seehowmuchofyourspeechyoucancramintooneday! along with script submission forms, last minute duo changes, and more double stick tape and magnets than a sane person should be handling at one time.
After frantically scurrying around, trying to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything of significant importance, (mind you, this was the first time Raymond and I had gone anywhere without mom or dad. It took awhile to get out the door. =P) we all got in the car and drove to the M's house, since they were taking us. After mom and dad had left (and I had checked the car 3 times to make sure nothing of significance was left in there), we proceeded to spend the next 2 hours chasing angry chickens and running around their house, making sure we hadn't forgotten anything of significant importance.
And off we went!
Us Poor Washingtonians. So excited about a little bit of snow.
I love this picture.
We had way too much fun on this car trip.
Sarah, who I called "my monkey" for most of the trip, making her "Giant" face for her speech
I have officially adopted her as another of my little sisters.
Self Explanatory.
Sorry for the bad video quality....this was before I switched to using Raymond's camera. This was right about when we reached Spokane.
We were frantically trying to get Raymond's camera set up so we could film us actually crossing the boarder.
Okay, so maybe I was a *little* excited about getting to Idaho....
(Here you get to hear my "Idaho poem" which was composed specially for the tournament)
We arrived at the church,
survived script submissions and registration,and then stopped at a Mexican restaurant for dinner with the M family, Mrs. M's brother's family, and Mrs. M's parents. Raymond and I were particularly amused by the "deep fried ice cream" on the dessert menu, which we all got to try in honor of Rebecca's birthday.
Rebecca, Sarah, and I all shared a room....and boy did we have good times.
This was actually our second night. The first night into the first day of the tournament was WAY to hectic to worry about taking pictures. =PSisters. =)
"Close your eyes and look like you're asleep!"
"AAAHHHH!!!!"
Bright and early the next morning, after frantic showers, inhaling our breakfast, last minute hair fixes, blazers, tie-malfunctions, and other such things as come with speech competitions, we all hurried out into a crisp, cool Idaho morning (translated as: FREEZING!) to drive to the church.
Just to illustrate how cold it was....
We found some of the most amusing things on the way...
Expensive energy drinks, no?
One LONG tournament day later...the mental-craze of the tournament is finally setting in as we marveled over this chicken like thing right outside the tournament...for which the video is unavailable. But know speech tournaments do weird things to your brain. (haven't I said this already?)
On the way home, we took the "Cliff Road", as Rebecca calls it, by Coeur d'Alene lake.
GORGEOUS.
For once I was satisfied with the results of my attempts-at-photography...
Sarah liked the hairpiece I used on day two, and she asked me to put it in her hair when we got home.
Little model <3
Next day...... Semis/Finals breaks. ...... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
This is where Hannah gets overly hyper and excited.
Our duo (me and Raymond) broke to semis, but not to finals. My Dramatic Interp. broke to finals, as did my Illustrated Oratory.Semis and finals have always been my favorite rounds (even though they are the most nerve racking)....I get the adrenaline rush and the energy high and run around frantically trying to find rooms, trying not to be nervous, watching some of the really good speeches, and enjoying myself immensely.
This is the kind of thing you do before you go into a round. Pace back and forth looking at patterns on the walls. =P
(actually, he wasn't waiting for a round. But he did find some kind of odd pattern)Waiting for the awards ceremony with my friend Gabby...
Our duo placed 12th, my dramatic placed 6th, and my illustrated placed 3rd.
And little Miss Sarah competed in the Junior Tournament they held with "Jack and the Beanstalk" for her dramatic. She was the youngest competitor in the entire tournament and placed 3rd. I have never seen her so happy. :)
(she's the shortest one with the lovely green dress)
All in all, it was a lovely tournament and I had a fabulous time.Sunday, April 18
Life IS Pain, Highness
Most of you know I was in a speech tournament last week. On finals day, I watched Sarah Klein's thematic interpretation. Part of it consisted of this poem, which would have made me cry if I hadn't used up all of my tears the night before. She's such a good speaker, and she interp'ed it extremely well.
(don't worry. I promise that by the end of this month I will have a full explanation, pictures, videos, and lots of other things from all the speech things I've been doing recently.)
It's called "Carry On", by Robert Service
It's easy to fight when everything's right,
And you're mad with the thrill and the glory;
It's easy to cheer when victory's near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It's a different song when everything's wrong,
When you're feeling infernally mortal;
When it's ten against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle:
Carry on! Carry on!
There isn't much punch in your blow.
You're glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You're muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven't the ghost of a show.
It's looking like death, but while you've a breath,
Carry on, my son! Carry on!
And so in the strife of the battle of life
It's easy to fight when you're winning;
It's easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there's the man of God's choosing;
The man who can fight to Heaven's own height
Is the man who can fight when he's losing.
Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven't a cowardly streak,
And though you're unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace up for another attack.
It's looking like hell, but -- you never can tell:
Carry on, old man! Carry on!
There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, I know, who in piety go
Because of a Heaven to follow.
But to labour with zest, and to give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
Why, there's the real sunshine of living.
Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There's big work to do, and that's why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!
(don't worry. I promise that by the end of this month I will have a full explanation, pictures, videos, and lots of other things from all the speech things I've been doing recently.)
It's called "Carry On", by Robert Service
It's easy to fight when everything's right,
And you're mad with the thrill and the glory;
It's easy to cheer when victory's near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It's a different song when everything's wrong,
When you're feeling infernally mortal;
When it's ten against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle:
Carry on! Carry on!
There isn't much punch in your blow.
You're glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You're muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven't the ghost of a show.
It's looking like death, but while you've a breath,
Carry on, my son! Carry on!
And so in the strife of the battle of life
It's easy to fight when you're winning;
It's easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there's the man of God's choosing;
The man who can fight to Heaven's own height
Is the man who can fight when he's losing.
Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven't a cowardly streak,
And though you're unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace up for another attack.
It's looking like hell, but -- you never can tell:
Carry on, old man! Carry on!
There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, I know, who in piety go
Because of a Heaven to follow.
But to labour with zest, and to give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
Why, there's the real sunshine of living.
Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There's big work to do, and that's why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!
Thursday, April 15
God is good. So, so good.
So, I thought since I've got the time (and perhaps a small amount of my brain), I thought I'd update y'all on the tournament. I'm kind of tired and have to get up at 6 tomorrow, so excuse the...oh, how do you say it? Un-glamorous, quickly typed update. :P So if I say anything weird, attribute it to the lateness of the hour and lack of a fully functional brain. heehee....
Wednesday went much better than I was expecting. You have no idea how much of a blessing it is to be in a church you are familiar with! The church we are competing at is 2 minutes away from my house. So if we've forgotten something, we can just go home and get it....we can go home for lunch. Oh, it's lovely. I've also halfway grown up in this church since I was around 4 or 5. I've never actually attended, but I've done so many activities there, that I know my way around quite well. :D
My first IO round was pretty good. I had Mrs. C for my judge, and she has the brightest eyes and the most encouraging smile. It was extremely comforting. You have no idea how much your judges impact your speech. Seriously, they can almost make or break it. I'm slowly learning to be immune to that and ignore it more - one guy looked like he was falling asleep. I even got a ballot back with FLOWERS drawn on it.
Anyway, the rest of the rounds went pretty well also.
Today was nearly uneventful. The morning was a bit stressful, because we had last minute duo practices that weren't going so well. But I got to sleep in since my round didn't start until 2pm. :D It's so weird, though, I'm so much more tired when I have less to do. I only had to give 2 speeches ALL DAY. So I'm really tired. (isn't that odd?) Tomorrow should be much better, since I'm giving 4. I guess it's that adrenaline rush - speech energy that keeps you going.
God has blessed me in so many ways this year - He has always faithfully brought me through the stressful night-before-tournament work, through rounds, weird judges, memory slips, and odd audience mishaps. I have made some of the best friends I could ever ask for. And hey - He's brought regionals practically to my door. What an awesome God we serve.
Thanks SO much for all your prayers. It means a lot to me. I'm having a fabulous time and I LOVE speech. It's a great tournament. And there's still 2 lovely days left. :)
While we're on the subject of prayers, my friend Brenna is in Illinois right now, at Summit, for National Bible Quizzing, and I know she would really appreciate your prayers. I think she's flying home tomorrow.
Signing off!
-Hannah
PS - tomorrow's rounds are at 8:00am and 4:00pm :)
Wednesday went much better than I was expecting. You have no idea how much of a blessing it is to be in a church you are familiar with! The church we are competing at is 2 minutes away from my house. So if we've forgotten something, we can just go home and get it....we can go home for lunch. Oh, it's lovely. I've also halfway grown up in this church since I was around 4 or 5. I've never actually attended, but I've done so many activities there, that I know my way around quite well. :D
My first IO round was pretty good. I had Mrs. C for my judge, and she has the brightest eyes and the most encouraging smile. It was extremely comforting. You have no idea how much your judges impact your speech. Seriously, they can almost make or break it. I'm slowly learning to be immune to that and ignore it more - one guy looked like he was falling asleep. I even got a ballot back with FLOWERS drawn on it.
Anyway, the rest of the rounds went pretty well also.
Today was nearly uneventful. The morning was a bit stressful, because we had last minute duo practices that weren't going so well. But I got to sleep in since my round didn't start until 2pm. :D It's so weird, though, I'm so much more tired when I have less to do. I only had to give 2 speeches ALL DAY. So I'm really tired. (isn't that odd?) Tomorrow should be much better, since I'm giving 4. I guess it's that adrenaline rush - speech energy that keeps you going.
God has blessed me in so many ways this year - He has always faithfully brought me through the stressful night-before-tournament work, through rounds, weird judges, memory slips, and odd audience mishaps. I have made some of the best friends I could ever ask for. And hey - He's brought regionals practically to my door. What an awesome God we serve.
Thanks SO much for all your prayers. It means a lot to me. I'm having a fabulous time and I LOVE speech. It's a great tournament. And there's still 2 lovely days left. :)
While we're on the subject of prayers, my friend Brenna is in Illinois right now, at Summit, for National Bible Quizzing, and I know she would really appreciate your prayers. I think she's flying home tomorrow.
Signing off!
-Hannah
PS - tomorrow's rounds are at 8:00am and 4:00pm :)
Tuesday, April 6
In interest of catching up on the homework I missed over the Idaho speech tournament (which I will have pictures for eventually!) and in preparing for the state-wide regional speech tournament next week, I am going to be off blogger/gmail/buzz/facebook for the next week or so. I'll still check my email - but just letting you know.
I have great ambitions to qualify for Nationals at regionals next week - but I don't want to get my hopes too high, seeing as it's only my first year. I would really appreciate your prayers this week and next - esp. next Wednesday morning (Specifically at 9:30, 11:00, and 12:30, which is when I am giving my most nerve-racking speech. The rest of my speeches are spread out on Thursday and Friday (and hopefully Saturday), but I don't know exactly what times yet.) Thanks so much!
See you all next week! :)
I have great ambitions to qualify for Nationals at regionals next week - but I don't want to get my hopes too high, seeing as it's only my first year. I would really appreciate your prayers this week and next - esp. next Wednesday morning (Specifically at 9:30, 11:00, and 12:30, which is when I am giving my most nerve-racking speech. The rest of my speeches are spread out on Thursday and Friday (and hopefully Saturday), but I don't know exactly what times yet.) Thanks so much!
See you all next week! :)
Forever and Allways
There's this sticky note on our refrigerator that my little brother wrote.
If you can't read it, it says "ALLWAYS BE HAPPY"He wrote it one day when someone was in a bad mood. I thought it was really cute - and sweet. :) But it also made me think. I love how he spelled "always": ALLWAYS, with two L's, making it like "all-ways"
Here is a list of the different meanings the word "always" can have.
Here is a list of the different meanings the word "always" can have.
- Seemingly without interruption
- often and repeatedly
- at any time or in any event
- forever
- throughout all time
- at all times
- all the time and on any occasion
"I always do it this way!"
"You always are teasing me!"
"I always thought you were afraid of me"
It's another one of those words that are thrown around a lot. Does it bug you that such huge, universal words with such depth are used so flippantly? Love, joy, never, always, Jesus....the list goes on.
But take it with some more depth here.
...giving thanks [always] for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Eph. 5:20)
Where "always" is in brackets, read it again, but put in "in all your ways".
giving thanks [in all your ways] for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Eph. 5:20)
Always: In all your ways, meaning in whatever situation you encounter - choosing to rejoice, to joy in the Lord (Hab. 3),
Then I thought of another thing. You've probably heard the phrase "forever and always". I always thought it was kind of redundant..."forever and always".
(Let me rabbit trail a bit here and note how I used "always" in that sentence. I did it without even thinking. It's interesting, isn't it?)
But if you change it to "forever and allways", you get something different - not just forever and forever - forever and in every way. We should love God not only in all our ways, in everything we do, but forever. And God loves us and cares for us in the exact same way - forever and allways.
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