Like Butter Scraped Across Too Much Bread

This, my precious, is the definition of epic:



My only complaint? It doesn't need to be split into three two and a half hour movies. Just no.

Landing in a bucket. Or an umbrella. Or possibly a lampshade.

You know that "trust" game that we used to play as kids?
Or in Sunday school during youth group?

You fall back and you trust the person behind you to catch you. (or supposedly. That was the point, at least)

Faith...trust...it's not just that. Because when you're standing there trusting that person to catch you, you are also expecting them to. You know they're going to do it. (or at least try to. You get the idea.)

Faith isn't like that.

Faith is wild.

And God is not always going to catch you with his arms.


Earth shattering, I know. We like that picture to go with the song, oh, I'm happy in your arms or something mushy like that.

Sometimes he's going to let you fall for a long time before he catches you. Sometimes he's going to use a parachute and make you think you're falling and then you realize you're not. Sometimes he'll use something bizarre, like an upside down umbrella. Pokey. but it works, you know? Or maybe a blanket, or a swimming pool, or a tardis. Or a bucket. That would be painful.

The point is, he is going to catch you, you just don't know how.

Trust is not expectation.

Trust is placing your faith in the truth that God knows what you need, not what you think you need. It is knowing that it is not up to me to decide whether I get land on a fluffy mattress or a bed of pillows. Actually, it might be a bed of blackberry bushes for all I know.

The choice is not mine. The outcome is unknown. But the peace is transcendent.

Now if you'll excuse me while I go crawl in a hole with my textbook....

Glimpse

I think seeing Lindsey Stirling play Transcendence live last night was the best thing that has happened all month.

 

(Electric Daisy Violin)

Raymond and I decided she's the ultimate definition of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

You must be sleep deprived when...

You're sitting in logic class and your only thought is...

I feel like I don't have my seatbelt on. 

And spend the rest of the class worrying...

Why don't I have my seatbelt on?

True Story. 

Fire.

Apathy is killing me.
Gnawing away at my life little bits at a time.
Wake me up.
Wake me up, not just in the inspiration of the nighttime hour,
when all is silent,
all is dark,
dark enough for my tiny, complacent light to be seen.

Wake me up,
in the afternoon, when the warmth of the sunlight is most anesthetic
light my soul on fire,
so that in the wake of the daytime,
in the glare of the daylight,
my flame can still shine.
Set it ablaze.

That's the thing about fire, isn't it?
It burns.

Don't let me be afraid of the burn.

Give me courage to sing till I am breathless
   to dance until I fall,
       love until I am empty,
          seek until I find,
    run until I am weak,
 give until I am humble
   to explore till I falter,
 take risk till I see beauty
      to live until I am yours.

Don't let me be afraid of the burn. 

Life was meant to be shared.
Joy is not our own.
Laughter is best with another.
Freedom is sweet in the company of many.
Love was not meant to possess, but to be poured.
Community is sweet,
   and in it we have safety.

One is mighty,
   Two is strong.
        Three is not easily broken,
But together we can be unstoppable.
                                       Together we can change the world.

But we are not delirious, not disillusioned.
Not blindly optimistic,
not shouting out happiness just because we can.

We are all hurting,
      but we are finding healing.
We are selfish,
      but we are finding out how to love.
We screw up,
     but we will continue to forgive.
Heartbreak is necessary,
     and I will embrace it.
We are finding -- not a hope that is naive,
     but a hope transcendent.

A strength beyond feeling.

This is not a battle cry.
It is not a blundering, blind pressing forward just to get through.
It is not an inspirational high.

It is the transcendent,
it is peace,
and it is beyond my understanding.

Desperate for a Desperate Heart

My fire is dying.
The toxic smoke
    smothering.
Numbing.

To love is to be vulnerable.
To come alive is to know sacrifice.

Light my soul on fire.
Burn these things I cling to,
   teach me to let go
to sacrifice
and then set it ablaze

So I can run,
   so I can feel
   so I can keep fighting.

You are the source of my flame,
   do not let it die.